


Practical Problems

by ECMZ



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, I apologize if college is portrayed incorrectly here, More tags will be added as the story progresses, Multiple Arcs, NFO might or might not be important, Past Relationship(s), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Two Protagonists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ECMZ/pseuds/ECMZ
Summary: Sayo and Misaki came from different regions in Japan, both seeking to redeem themselves for their wrongdoings. Whether that meant confronting your complicated past or who you were as a person, they'd do anything.But when fate had their paths collide on one chilly Monday night, they realized just how closely intertwined their fates really were.The other thing they learnt was that in this world, there was no such thing as a happy ending.
Relationships: Aoba Moca/Mitake Ran, Hanazono Tae/Wakana Rei, Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo, Ichigaya Arisa/Toyama Kasumi, Imai Lisa/Minato Yukina, Kitazawa Hagumi/Matsubara Kanon, Maruyama Aya/Shirasagi Chisato, Okusawa Misaki/Tsurumaki Kokoro, Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato, Shirokane Rinko/Udagawa Ako, Udagawa Tomoe/Uehara Himari, Ushigome Rimi & Yamabuki Saaya, Wakamiya Eve/Yamato Maya
Comments: 11
Kudos: 26





	1. A Chaotic Start

One thing Sayo learnt when she began getting further involved with Roselia and its members was that they were seriously unpredictable sometimes. So much so that it was one of the many important factors behind her following the only proof she had any social life at all. Making new friends wouldn't be much of a problem, especially since college was a big step for any person, but splitting from the group to her felt so... wrong.

The hesitation about her decision to follow them was thanks to the realization of just how far away the college itself was from home, and that she'd definitely have to get a dorm room but her doubts melted like butter instead reasoning that she could indeed use the distance from her family a little. Past that it was a point of no return as Sayo walked to the dorms for the college all of Roselia would attend for the foreseeable future. She looked down at the messages flooding her phone screen sent by Ako telling her to make a bee-line for their dorm as quick as she could.

Sayo's rationale kept screaming about how this was a very bad idea. And even though in no way, shape or form did she want to risk anyone getting expelled for what would become a colossal disaster if anyone found out, the drummer stated time and time again she didn't want to leave any man behind — or in this case, woman — before managing to get everyone onboard with the idea. Even now Sayo still thought Ako's idea was insane but somewhat feasible if done right. And this point in time, it didn't really matter if anyone changed their mind. They'd gone too far to turn back now.

The elevator rattled one last time before a quiet ring severed the ex-guitarist's line of thought, allowing her to walk toward the dorm room Ako informed she'd be staying in, ready to begin an unpredictable year in more ways than one. 

***

Opening the door that led to her "assigned dorm", Sayo stepped inside and had no time to get a look at her surroundings before Ako screamed her name and nearly gave her a heart attack. "Hello to you too, Udagawa-san." She tried her best to look reprimanding but couldn't hold back the smile that wasn't any bit reprimanding. "Sorry if I kept you waiting." 

"You can still make it up to me!" Ako replied and grinned widely, pointing at Rinko who was in a deeper part of the room, setting up what seemed to be two gaming PCs and their respective equipment. It was obvious to differentiate the two set-ups from aesthetic alone. Rinko waved at the two for a quick second before going back to fumbling with countless cables and USB ports.

"Did you bring yours?" Ako let down her finger and looked at Sayo with excitement. 

"Mine? Do you mean my laptop? Yes, I made sure to bring it." She had brought two small bags of luggage that contained all the personal belongings she was able to stuff inside, but also made sure to bring only the essentials. Placing them somewhere that wouldn't take up precious space, she began reconsidering not getting a separate dorm again.

Although plans had been made for all of Roselia to dorm together, the dorms could only handle two people each so someone either had to be alone, with a stranger or hole up in someone else's dorm. A quick debate in a fast food place had them all agree on Sayo staying with Ako and Rinko for multiple reasons Sayo both understood and didn't. But if Yukina of all people was willing to give it a shot, who was she to back down?

At some point Rinko had asked for Ako's help with setting up, leaving Sayo at her own mercy. Now that she wasn't getting suffocated by Ako's presence she had enough quiet to examine the dorm she'd be spending her next few years in.

It looked about as plain as a college dorm could get without any sort of decoration to allow students to embellish them however they liked. On each side of the room a bed each with a table up front. One of them had a TV on top of it but had been discarded elsewhere for a monitor to take its place for one of the set-ups. Sayo found nothing else noteworthy to examine, at least not until the three started refurbishing it to suit their visions.

Sayo took out her phone, curious about how the two remaining Roselia members were holding up.

  
  


**[coolest goddamn raid group, 5:10 PM]**

**[5:10 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Are you guys done unpacking?

 **[5:10 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** if by unpacking you mean throwing my stuff against the bed before realizing its a bad idea yes

 **[5:10 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i'm not sure if i'm gonna survive one day here

 **[5:10 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** It's only your first day here, try not to break anything.

 **[5:11 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i'm not even trying it's a skill i learnt from moca. i just wanna sleep 

**[5:11 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** Before you do, check if anything's broken. I'm not buying you new parts

 **[5:11 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** that was ONE time 

**[5:12 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** One time too many 

**[5:12 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** bold of you to assume i won't do it again

 **[5:12 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** Bold of you to assume I'll buy you new ones

 **[5:12 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Have you already set up, Minato-san?

 **[5:12 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** Yes

 **[5:12 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** sayoooooooo can you come set mine up i don't wanna get off my bed 

**[5:13 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Can't you do it? Or get Minato-san to do it for you?

 **[5:13 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** bed

 **[5:13 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** So you've yet to unpack. I'll come back later.

 **[5:13 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i am begging respectfully i am on my knees here!!!!!

 **[5:13 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** You're laying down

 **[5:13 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]** has gone Offline.

  
  


Sayo refused to participate in that any longer since, judging from how her phone wouldn't stop vibrating, they'd be going back and forth until they made up their minds despite the two being in the same room. Opening one of the bags of luggage and rummaging through it she took out her laptop and joined Ako and Rinko who were both sat down on flimsy foldable chairs. Unable to haul the ones they had back home thanks to everyone drawing a line at Ako willing to carry more weight than necessary. Besides, it was certain the dorms had enough chairs for their occupants.

"Do you want to... farm while we wait for them?" Rinko spoke to the two, who seemed to be actively spectating the argument happening in the group chat. "It'll be a while before... they'll get on." 

They all agreed and logged on, banding together instantly and going off on side-quests they hadn't finished to try and get ahead of the bantering childhood friends. Roselia had been competing on friendly terms for who could be the highest level for years now, but Ako had yet to be dethroned from her spot ever since she reclaimed it months ago: unofficialy, the only person to ever come close was Rinko but the entire group agreed on it officialy being Sayo instead as she was more into the competition than the pianist was. 

The hours piling up and the silence getting thicker, they kept calling out what spells or skills they casted when Ako started doing it enthusiastically before it devolved into occasional small talk lasting 2 hours, when Lisa and Yukina asked to join them and as much as they promised to be responsible, they got caught up playing and it took the clock ticking to 9 PM before they stopped.

***

"Aww, couldn't we have gone out for dinner together?" Ako was the first one to complain, almost done with her sandwich. The three weren't feeling particularly hungry and Rinko, ever the saint, brought some made at home for them to eat, knowing Ako and Sayo wouldn't think of going shopping to stock up and make food themselves.

"Imai-san seems to be asleep already and Minato-san doesn't seem to want to go out today." Sayo replied, holding what looked like a diary and a pen, pointing its head toward Ako. "And before you ask, neither do I."

"Daaaaamn..." was all that was heard for a while accompanied by a whine.

But Ako's silence didn't last long. "Can we go get lunch together tomorrow, then?!" The booming declaration startled both Rinko and Sayo, who both looked up from the ground and from her diary, respectively, causing Ako to flinch. "Sorry, I know. Neighbors and all that."

*Not the reason she should be apologizing for, but doesn't matter so long as she knows what she did wrong,* Sayo thought.  
  
"I don't mind lunch..." Her input felt more like an automated response than anything, not bothering to reformulate her words thanks to more pressing matters.

Silence set in once more with everyone doing their own thing, and for a while the quiet was comforting. It felt like one of the only breaks anyone had gotten that day considering they spent one half of the afternoon playing and the other half taking care of moving in and the like.  
  
But to Sayo, it wasn't feeling like a break.  
  
She meant to throw this stupid diary away before coming here, but every time she got close to doing so an invisible force took her over. Besides staying with Roselia, the whole point of applying this far away from home was to get away from her family and to bury the past and forget it entirely, but none of that mattered when her hesitant stubbornness always kept her from doing so: the ripped pages were enough proof, and each torn page served only to make her nauseous. She wanted to burn the expensive leather holding the pages together, dig a hole in the middle of a forest, throw the ashes inside and then burn the entire forest down just so nobody knew it belonged to her. Yet every time she tried to fulfill that fantasy her chest tightened and her hands cramped up, unable to take the next step. Like she wished to let go but her instincts didn't, only wanting to hold it close and protect it in case anyone wanted to read a novelette on Sayo's life experiences. The old her would had committed arson already and dare think of it as no more than a mild inconvenience toward her path to stardom, but the her in the present wished to figure out what the diary meant to her before doing anything. Because only then would she be able to pinpoint what about it prevented her from getting rid of the cursed book.

"Sayo-san, you alright?" She heard a voice come from behind her and she deduced the slamming noise that came afterward was her diary getting slammed closed from how her hands lightly stung. She wasn't sure what kind of expression Ako wore but it was obvious worry was the main element.

"Yes... I simply spaced out, nothing to worry about." was about the greatest excuse she could play off in a hurry before leading the room into a familiar silence, this time awkward. Rinko seemed worried but made no comment on how Sayo's hands shook and instead cracked a small smile at Sayo, then turning back to her monitor.  
  
Great, she just had to ruin the comfortable silence, didn't she? "I think I'll be heading to sleep now, Udagawa-san. Shirokane-san. Don't make too much noise."

"Alright. See you tomorrow, then!" Ako's usual demeanor was back and that was all that mattered to Sayo. It was supposed to be their first day here and this time window was meant for them to relax before reconciling tomorrow, and somehow Sayo had already found a way to spoil her entire mood in what could be considered record time. 

Wishing to get some rest in before losing herself to her thoughts Sayo took out the tent bed she brought with her and set it up in the middle of the room, providing enough leeway for the other two to pass to the other side of the room if they climbed their beds. Positioning it anywhere else would mean bothering the dorm's true occupants even more than she already was. She turned off the lights and laid down, careful to remind herself that this wasn't a normal bed and thus wouldn't be able to throw herself on it. It took a while for sleep to overcome her senses, letting Ako and Rinko's soft unintelligible murmurs lull her to sleep.

***

Lunch was still a few hours away, so there was still plenty of time for Roselia to gather and do an activity together. Eventually they decided on exploring college campus and the town with help from Ako's directions, who was somewhat familiar with the region. Her family lived nearby, meaning she mostly knew the town inside out. One thing that wasn't lacking were the places to go for lunch or breakfast and Sayo couldn't help but wonder whether they competed for business or got along well. She thought the latter fit better judging by how each owner of each establishment was always regarded in a good light.

Besides the occasional comment here and there, their walk was oddly silent. There wasn't anything they really wished to talk about, instead appreciating how beautiful everything looked. Sayo saw it more as a chance to get to know the town better since they'd be spending quite the time there. It wouldn't hurt to get to know where's what. Maybe at some point she could start talking to the locals too...

The town wasn't neither loud or quiet, providing a welcoming atmosphere for its inhabitants or people passing by. Besides the multiple places Ako kept pointing out and detailing to them, there was a giant crowded park, with people sat on benches trying to relax, others walking their pets, some jogging in or out, that occupied a great part of the middle section filled with roads and sidewalks that allowed one to visit many shops and other establishments. Essentially, they were in the heart of town. One of the branching paths clearly led to the dorms and the college they would be attending, the same one they had come from to reach the center. Checking where all of them could lead did sound like fun but all that mattered right now was knowing how to situate themselves based on where they were. 

By the end of their tour they already knew some establishments: the nearest place to get food was definitely the Hazawa Café but no lunches were served (two things Roselia already knew). Just close by was a bakery that Ako claimed "to sell the best damn bread around here," something Sayo hoped to check for herself despite bread not counting as lunch. For the places that mattered, there was a fairly popular fast-food chain just nearby a meat shop — the furthest building from the college yet— but looked like it got clients nonetheless. All of them seemed to be run by locals except for the fast-food one that simply wished to take advantage of hungry and broke students by making them fork over enough money to buy a menu that would get them something much cheaper anywhere else. But then again, she'd always had an attachment for their fries, and it'd be hypocritical to judge others based on their pick.

She was thinking about lunch when right about now would be a great time for some brunch, especially since nobody had bought any actual supplies yet and they wanted to save up as much money as possible. At least until they got feasible part-time jobs of course. Yukina's somewhat fat pockets couldn't hold them afloat all the time... right now only Lisa had the potential to fend for herself with her working part-time as a store clerk.

Turned out moving away from home with nothing more than two bags of luggage worth of clothes, other things, a laptop, a guitar and naive hopes and dreams to the point of forming bulges still made Sayo think she packed too little.

The bell that rang out across the Hazawa Café indicated their arrival to anyone else inside. Some chose to ignore it while others looked on for a brief second before turning away. It wasn't too packed during the early morning but some simply came for the cozy atmosphere it provided, consisting out of the smell of blended coffee to accompany the bright brown across the walls coupled with some cups filled with coffee.

"Ah, welcome!" The daughter of the owners, Tsugumi Hazawa, greeted Roselia with a smile no less genuine than the one she'd give other customers. "Coming for breakfast, right? Will you all have the usual?" The only place Sayo bothered to remember from this town back then was the café. No wonder she felt more unfamiliar with any other part in town than the rest did. They all nodded and each one individually greeted the barista.

"Well, lookie lookie at who it is." It'd take a prayer to some unknown deity above to prevent the one person Sayo hoped wouldn't see today see through to that wish. The drawn out and tired voice of a certain guitarist proved that Sayo would have to be religiously devout for that to happen. "Here to see your most special, precious friends in the world?" 

Sayo groaned and turned to Moca, who had a grin so wide it could almost split her face in half, the half-lidded eyes only adding to her smug and laid-back aura. "If I were here to see you, I'd have to be very desperate for company." 

"And yet here you are." Alas Sayo's reply only egged Moca on. Moca eventually took her attention off of the ex-guitarist and waved at Lisa, who sent a finger gun her way and sat beside her afterward, forcing Rinko, Sayo and Yukina to get separate chairs to join the booth. 

"They're here to eat lunch, just like us." Ran spoke up from her corner of the booth, looking up from her phone and at Moca with a disapproving expression, prompting Moca to tell her about it being a joke and having the vocalist go back to focusing on her phone.

"We just got... done checking the area," Rinko spoke up. "So we thought we could pass by and... take a breather." She seemed more comfortable than when they first walked inside now surrounded by the company of people she knew

"Oooh, you went to check all the places without us?" Himari piped up from beside Tomoe who was currently being tested in a game of wits and sacrifice: rock paper scissors. "Shame. Coulda invited us to go out and eat with you guys. Not that the food from this place is bad, of course!" 

"We're all gathered here nonetheless, so it doesn't really matter, does it? We plan on getting lunch later," Yukina said. "though it'll be just the five of us." 

Roselia and Afterglow went together like bread and butter. Most of their history came from the Udagawa siblings and Moca and Lisa, so it was only obvious at some point their paths intertwined and they began to get to know each other more and more, forming a sort of close bond as opposed to a rivalry. They only kicked it off after high-school ended but clicked together fairly quick, and Sayo wondered daily what would have gone different if they had ever met sooner; they had attended the same high-school. 

In a way, Sayo admired them reluctantly: a vocalist with high standards for herself and those around her, a guitarist whose guitar skills only served to add to her irritating attitude, a bassist serving as a pillar of support for others, and a drummer loyal to her friends with a fervor only matched by the vocalist, and a keyboardist that let the group take risks by working behind the scenes.

All she saw in Roselia were 4 members who had their eyes set on the big leagues, who worked together for a unified goal and dragged along a retired guitarist whose sound fizzled out years ago out of fear of taking the next big step. So they patiently waited for her and hid behind the saying that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. 

Sayo thought about Afterglow's keyboardist from time to time because Sayo wished to hold the same drive that allowed Tsugumi to push her band forward. Was her admiration only focusing on how she wished to see herself in someone or how the group worked in perfect unity, with their strengths balancing out each other's weaknesses? 

A mention of her name let Sayo fall back to reality and out of a crisis begging to happen, cracking a small nod in reply to something she hadn't even heard. A vague guess she heard in her daze seemed to be related to them meeting up every now and then after classes so they could spend time together. 

"Did you even hear what she said, Sayo?" Lisa's words accompanied by laughter weren't sounding so welcoming, and more like she'd walked right into a trap. "You just agreed to sell your soul to the bread lords." 

_What._

"Roselia versus Afterglow, bread eating competition," Himari added, enlightening Sayo on what was about to go down thanks to her carelessness. "Loser pays for the tab and winners get a weeks worth of Yamabuki goods." 

"No, no. Absolutely not. I didn't agree to this!" Although the bread could help with stocking up, the line that separated free food and an expensive fallout was faded. You had to think methodically and bet on the safe option to not participate at all. 

"Only if Aoba-san doesn't participate." A small 'boo' could be heard from said person following a low chant along the lines of 'bring back Moca, bring back Moca,' met only with a light laugh from Rinko. 

"Even Yukina-san's willing to! Come on, please?" The synchronized pleading from both Ako and Lisa was enough to tell Sayo there would be no easy out of this lest she surrender and join in on the madness. 

To double down on her thoughts from yesterday, one thing Sayo had learned when she got herself involved with Roselia and Afterglow was that their members could be seriously unpredictable sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a new thing im trying and a story i just REALLY had to get out there because it would eat me up if i didnt. anyhow, welcome to a college AU inspired by a few bandori fics (one of which should be extremely obvious) and one promare fic one of my friends showed me  
> if the formatting is all weird i apologize but ao3 wouldn't let me preview it like so many times and its just Pain. i had to write all of this so many times because if i pressed preview it'd get stuck so if anybody wants to help me out with formatting and all that schbang i'd be so grateful to you  
> NOW THAT ALL THE UNIMPORTANT STUFF IS OUT OF THE WAY, clearing a few things up: it'll have story arcs, as shown in the tags all of the bands are instead friend groups and much more that you'll get to see (or be told when the time is right)  
> not sure if i'll be motivated enough to keep this going long enough but if i do thank the gods. next chapter will be focusing on sayo again (it was supposed to be misaki BUT i changed my mind) (ive already edited this so many times in such a short span i hate it here)


	2. Troubling Ambitions

Recovering from the competition physically wasn't the hard part, but financially was where things could have gotten messy. It took some convincing to hold the competition: Roselia facing off against Afterglow sans Ako and Moca, who did it individually to make the playing field even. Roselia won the bout but Moca took the duel by a mile, leaving them to split the prize and costs evenly. Yukina and Lisa both made sure they took most of the bill with the other three pitching in on the condition they find a way to repay them in the near future. Who knows what favors they'd owe the other band if they didn't pull through.

On the brighter side of things, food shortages wouldn't be a problem for now. Each individual got a half weeks worth of Yamabuki goods, adding up to a total of a week and a half for the trio and a full week for Yukina and Lisa. Right after they went to drop off the bread, Yukina claimed she'd be going shopping with Lisa. Sayo offered to tag along with them while Rinko and Ako chose to stay back thanks to Ako having eaten much more than the rest, the shyer of the two wanting to look out for her in case she began feeling unwell. More unwell than she already was, of course.

Food shortages wouldn't be a problem with the amount of bread they'd brought back home, but there would come a time they'd get sick of bread, bread and more bread. They're not dough worshippers, unlike a certain ivory blonde guitarist.

The automatic doors sliding open signalled the three's arrival to the closest store, having already debated on what to buy. They chose to go for basic necessities before anything else, meaning things like toothpaste, bottled water, cheap food, anything cheap that didn't reek of horrible.

"I regret agreeing to the competition." Yukina was the first to voice her thoughts with a regretful expression to boot, and everything about it described Sayo's state of being at that moment.

"Come on, it was fun!" Lisa remarked with a slight smile that slowly fell. "Well, fun in the beginning, but..."

"Right. The beginning. What happened to eating lunch as a group?" Even now Sayo still felt bloated, stomach pleading for her to sit down. She'd bet the other two probably aren't too different from her either, judging by the speed they're walking at.

"It's fine, we can just get dinner together." Lisa responded, looking off to the side before getting scolded by Yukina for sneakily trying to fit in ingredients to make cookie dough. 

"Save that idea for next week, I'm not paying." Yukina chided as they walked up to the register to ring the items and a total, looking at the other two. "We're here to learn and make the most of this important part of our life, not throw it away."

"You can have fun as long as it's in moderation," Lisa offered, looking at Sayo as if asking her to agree. As much as she agreed with Lisa, she kept quiet and waited for the clerk to finish scanning. 

"Don't blow your wallet dry in an instant." She meant no harm with those words and it was clear on how she cracked a barely visible smile before turning back and paying for the supplies alongside Sayo, wishing the clerk well before leaving. 

"I'm worried about Udagawa-san, so I think we shouldn't do anything else today. Classes start in a few days too." Sayo finally spoke again, thinking about how the drummer felt right after the competition. There'd be little time to spend together after classes, even with less class time than in high-school for one reason: before they arrived, Rinko relayed a message to her that they wouldn't be available for a while shortly after finishing classes, and it made her gut twist in a cruel way. 

They might've not realized it yet but Sayo wasn't as dumb as they made her seem. She felt a twinge of hurt everytime she thought about it. She swore Yukina would be the first to catch on the fact Sayo caught on to them. She knew it was code for 'we're rehearsing without you' and that made her feel horrible all over again, nauseous even. But she also knew that at some point they'd have to move on without her. 

She felt bad for making them wait so long, but everytime she picked up her instrument nothing came out except dull sound even an amateur would feel disgusted with. 

There was no passion, no heart into the few melodies she'd played over break. Some of the music she'd bothered with trying to play always sounded like a copycat rather than a recreation, and a side-by-side comparison gave her all the information she needed. She almost gave up on the instrument altogether and considered selling it but if Roselia knew, it'd be the end of her.

It was like being wedged between two choices, and every one of them was as horrible as the other in terms of personal consequences. 

"Speaking of which, they start in two days, right?" Lisa said, letting her grocery bag fall back further onto her arm. "Are we sitting together?" 

Sayo nodded. "Music will be packed this year. Hazawa-san told me." 

"Tsugumi's in Music?" 

"Yeah, apparently." Sayo put a hand on her chin, looking off to the side. "In fact, I think she's the only one there in all of Afterglow." 

Now that sent looks of surprise on their faces, and saying it almost felt surreal. When she got word only Tsugumi was following Music she thought of it as some light-humored joke but the look she was given was every bit of confirmation she needed. 

Sure, as they grew older so did their responsibilities though that wasn't all. She remembered how she was told the last time they'd rehearsed was a few weeks ago, almost a full month, and she couldn't help but get the feeling something was off. They weren't popular during their high-school peak but the few performances they got to hold were cherished amongst the student body. 

One could've tried to deny the excitement, but when their combined sound echoed throughout the room? The urge to cheer them on was irresistible.

The looks she was being given were ones prodding for more information but giving the option to stay quiet if she wished to. She opened this can of worms, she might as well give its contents away.

"Normally it wouldn't worry me, but she also told me they haven't played in quite some time." The statement didn't sit well with them but that was to be expected. It showed they cared about Afterglow. 

"It's not unheard of people taking breaks in the world of music," It was Yukina's turn to speak, the surprise quickly fading away and being replaced by a pensive expression. "so they could be on a hiatus to focus on school." 

"What if they aren't on a hiatus, though?" It was a possibility Lisa offered, and one Sayo mostly agreed with. There weren't any mentions of a hiatus: only that they haven't played for some time. She doesn't get why she's so worried about their personal affairs either, she's got no business meddling with what could either be a huge misunderstanding or them taking some time off to enjoy their last days before Hell rolled around again. 

"I don't think it's our business to know." Sayo's thoughts were quickly put to words, even if she was the one to shed light on the topic. "If it's a hiatus then we're worrying over nothing. If it's something else, however..."

The look Lisa and Yukina gave each other was enough to drop the topic. Bidding goodbyes and walking into their respective dorms, their "outing" ended. Rinko, who was looking over Ako, waved at Sayo while the latter groaned in an attempt to greet her. 

Despite her knowing it wasn't any of her business, she couldn't help but worry more and more about Tsugumi's words as time went on.

***

  
  


**[coolest goddamn raid group, 6:24 PM]**

**[6:24 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** how's ako holding up?

 **[6:24 PM] [RinRin]:** She's doing better! Her staying was the right call.

 **[6:24 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** we went shopping for stuff so sayo brought some things so you guys don't worry about things for some time

 **[6:24 PM] [RinRin]:** Thank you! (* ^ ω ^)

 **[6:24 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** thank her, not me

 **[6:25 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** We'll be eating dinner at another date so Udagawa-san is able to recover.

 **[6:25 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** no dinner tonight???

 **[6:25 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** How are you texting right now?

 **[6:25 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** w my phone?? ure literally right infront of me

 **[6:26 PM] [RinRin]:** She didn't charge it, so she's always had it.

 **[6:26 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Oh.

 **[6:26 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** hi ako 

**[6:26 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** heeeeeey. did u bring anything for lil ol' me

 **[6:26 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** look as much as i admire your appetite, you're not eating anything else unless sayo and rinko say so

 **[6:26 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** :(((

 **[6:26 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** We did, but it's with us so you don't sneak out and go filling yourself up

 **[6:27 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** ill literally sneak in there if its the last thing i do

 **[6:27 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i'm eating some chips right now

 **[6:27 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** STOP

 **[6:27 PM] [RinRin]:** I can lend you some of mine if you want. (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

 **[6:27 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** how. how do u know 

**[6:27 PM] [RinRin]:** I brought some from home! They were meant for yesterday but it started getting late and I forgot. (⌒_⌒;)

 **[6:27 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** You should have told her AFTER she's allowed to have them. 

**[6:28 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Hide your bag if you know what's good for you.

 **[6:28 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** By the way, she wasn't joking. She's actually eating your things

 **[6:28 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **[6:28 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** mark my words by the time i leave this bed demon princess ako will do more than cast ur soul into eternal torture and hellfire

 **[6:29 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** <3

 **[6:29 PM] [ako for president 2020]:** i hate you. i actually hate you so much

 **[6:29 PM] [ako for president 2020]** is now Offline.

 **[6:29 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** She's muttering curses and something about buying a voodoo doll.

 **[6:30 PM] [RinRin]:** (◕‿◕)

**[6:30 PM] [RinRin is now Offline.]**

**[6:30 PM] [Yukina Minato]:** I'm mildly terrified  
  
**[6:30 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** She's comforting Udagawa-san.  
  
**[6:30 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** in what way  
  
**[6:30 PM] [Ako's Second Caretaker.]:** Agreeing to her plans on holding a coup against you.  
  
**[6:31 PM] [one whole unit of sister]:** let me be the one to tell you the difference between reassurance and a declaration of war

  
  
  


***

It took a while before Ako's vengeful declarations stopped and her browser history stopped recommending her curses to cast on Lisa thanks to Rinko promising to share her snacks.

Sayo found comfort in these harmless moments. On one side, they could be serious, demanding and dedicated with no room for failure, only improvement. And on the other, they could all come together and do whatever eased their worries. For them to have small talk develop into full conversations was nothing short of a miracle, and Sayo felt she should be counting her lucky stars they made it this far together. 

She wouldn't admit it in a thousand years but she was afraid of losing them. Afterglow existed, but the two groups shared a symbiotic relationship that always worked toward supporting each other. And if she lost Roselia, she lost Afterglow. And if she lost Afterglow, her fallen apart world would explode into meaningless microscopic specks of dirt. 

If she ever lost them, all of their combined sacrifices would be all for naught. Years of patience disregarded and the outcome waiting for her in those turn of events would be the worst one. Although the overwhelming fear of being left behind wasn't anything new to Sayo, this impromptu line of thought threatened to do just that. 

And she was tired of it. It was about time her cowardice ended.

In a sudden surge of confidence Sayo reached for her dusty guitar case and unzipped it, removing the instrument stored inside before tuning it while ignoring the looks of shock on Ako and Rinko's faces in favor of making sure everything was set up accordingly. When she turned to them, her confidence doubled in power. Sayo had long forgotten what it felt like to hold her guitar in front of others after getting used to not having an audience, and it felt exhilarating.

"Woah, wait, dial it back a bit. I'm not... going crazy am I?" Ako's amasement doubled Sayo's nerves but tripled her determination. "You're going to play for us? Right here, right now?!"

"I...! I'll get some sheet music!" The sheet music Rinko had in store for Sayo was one she should have seen coming but her defenses quickly fell apart at the name _LOUDER_ in bold letters. 

Feelings of remorse wormed their way into her gut and nestled comfortably before giving birth to resentment.   
  
Remorse for leaving, and resentment for getting their hopes up knowing she'd only shatter them just as quick.

A hand made its way to her shoulder and she was met the face of Roselia's pianist who only smiled at her. "Take your time... we'll be waiting." 

God, how would Sayo ever repay their kindness?

Not a few moments after her fingers began moving.   
  
A full guitar rendition of _LOUDER_ echoed throughout the room and bounced off the walls meant only for the ears of those that belonged to Roselia. A few mistakes were to be expected but as Sayo's mind went on autopilot on the sections she knew by heart, she realized her playing held conviction compared to countless renditions of songs she'd found online and played over and over and over in an attempt to revive the passion for music she once held.   
  
But there was still one glaring issue. None of the notes carried Roselia's essence. The same essence that elevated their music to professional levels of quality, the fuel that let everyone move forward and powered the inner workings of Roselia's true power: trust.   
  
A liar could never dream of expressing truth in song form. A liar was worthy of nothing but lies.   
  


"Oh... my... God. That sound amaz-"  
  
Lies. 

_"It was horrible."_ Sayo cut off Ako and the expected applause just as abruptly and letting the room fall in silence for a while. "I get you're trying to support me, but I don't need your praise when it's nothing but empty lies. I'm nowhere near the level I wish to be much less the one Roselia wants me to be. So don't be afraid to tell me it's nothing short of terrible." 

Sayo didn't know whether to soar high with rage or plummet down in regret, but she knew Roselia's standards still hadn't lowered to the point the amateurish display she showed them excited them. Getting praise when what she needed was criticism was what drove her to be such a coward and take their friendships for granted in the first place.

Sayo had just considered herself lucky to be around them a few minutes ago and here she was, displaying the exact opposite. Although by the time she considered apologizing for lashing out at Ako, the tense atmosphere dissipated when Sayo was met with Rinko's eager smile.

"It's a first. I... no, _we_ , don't expect you to be good right away. This is the first time you've played something we made for... years. I don't want it to be your last." Pity was replaced with understanding.

"You have all the time you need, so... don't worry about catching up. You'll find who or what you're playing for if you keep trying." Rinko's words were meant to reassure Sayo, but those words had something click inside her as the question that followed prevented Sayo from taking her eyes off her guitar. 

All this time she had been trying to get back into her rhythm after years of absence and hesitation. Though the one question she failed to ask herself after many unsuccessful tests and stress-filled performances was

Who or what, exactly, was she playing for, besides Roselia? 

***

**[sayo planning phase, 12:45 AM]  
**

**[12:45 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** ive been holding off tellin you guys about this but HOLY SHIT SAYO PLAYED FOR THE FIRST TIME

 **[12:45 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** this hasn't been used in months

 **[12:45 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** thats not important

 **[12:45 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i know. was messing with you. now what's this about sayo playing again

 **[12:46 AM] [RinRin]:** She pulled her guitar out and wanted to play, so I gave her some sheet music to use.

 **[12:46 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Why couldn't have you told us sooner

 **[12:46 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** because if she somehow finds out we have an entire chat dedicated to her she'd be beyond pissed and hurt??

 **[12:47 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Why do we have a chat about her

 **[12:47 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** to try and come up with a plan to get roselia back together

 **[12:47 AM] Yukina Minato]:** Did she say anything else

 **[12:47 AM] [RinRin]:** We tried telling her her playing was good but she got mad at us and said it wasn't. It was us taking pity on her. (⌒_⌒;)´

 **[12:47 AM] [RinRin]:** I think she feels obligated to catch up as quick as possible because she feels she's holding us down. Though I think this is the first time she's probably genuinely played in a while.

 **[12:47 AM] [RinRin]:** So all things considered, I think we should expect some good news from her soon enough!

 **[12:47 AM] [RinRin]:** I told her to try and learn the ins and outs of her guitar properly instead of playing blindly. I hope my advice was of some help. (* ^ ω ^)

 **[12:48 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** THATS MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THERE THATS HER 

**[12:48 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** just the fact she thought of even bringing it with her is great 

**[12:48 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** so has anyone got any ideas on how we approach this

 **[12:48 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** honestly if u want my opinion we wait. its all we can do bc its like rinrin said we cant force her to play itd be emotionally taxing

 **[12:49 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Sorry if this sounds rude but we've been waiting for years now 

**[12:49 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** It's been a few long years and I fear my patience is running thin. There's only a limit to how long I can wait

 **[12:49 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** i almost don't feel like saying this, but we can't keep replacing sayo forever. we haven't had an audience in ages and if we keep this up we won't have one to come back to

 **[12:49 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** this is stressing

 **[12:50 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** I can wait until this semester ends. If until then nothing has changed, we'll be moving on. With or without her

 **[12:50 AM] [RinRin]:** She'll be playing again before you know it! I can feel it.

 **[12:50 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** i fucking hope so because i dont want to leave anyone behind

 **[12:50 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** sorry rinrin <3

 **[12:50 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** regardless, if waiting's all we can do then i suggest we wait. it's not something we can figure out for her, it's something she'll have to figure out herself

 **[12:50 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** the least we can do is support her as we've always done and let her answer her own questions

 **[12:50 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** anyways, i'm signing off for the night. don't bother the neighbors too much

 **[12:50 AM] [ako for president 2020]** : see u lisa!!

 **[12:50 AM] [RinRin]:** Goodbye! (＠＾◡＾)

 **[12:51 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Sleep well 

**[12:51 AM] [one whole unit of sister]:** you do know i'm like across the room right

 **[12:51 AM] [RinRin]** is now Offline.

 **[12:51 AM] [one whole unit of sister]** is now Offline.

 **[12:51 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** for shame

 **[12:52 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** it sounds weird but this almost reminds me of you yukina-san

 **[12:52 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** I'm sorry?

 **[12:52 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** some goal on ur mind that blinds u from everything else and when smth happens that puts that goal in question u dont know how to react

 **[12:52 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** idk is that a wrong take on this

 **[12:53 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** It's not inaccurate, but there're better ways of saying it. If Rinko's words had some effect, until now she only thought about completing whatever goal was on her mind and chose to ignore the progress made to get there

 **[12:53 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Does that make sense

 **[12:53 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** yea no i get what u mean 

**[12:53 AM] [ako for president 2020]:** ok rinrins long went to bed so im gon do the same. see u tomorrow yukina-san

 **[12:53 AM] [ako for president 2020]** is now Offline.

 **[12:54 AM] [Yukina Minato]:** Sleep well  
  
**[12:54 AM]** [ **Yukina Minato]** is now Offline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 1 was more so i could get into the swing of things, and this one serves to give yall a taste of whats to come. (i honestly hope this weird mess of a text made sense)  
> hopefully it doesnt feel rushed!! i had to rewrite a few parts to make it so and still be able to set up things proper!! i dont really have an update schedule but ill try and get them out consecutively. it can only go downhill from here  
> i also rewrote the overall summary bc i wasnt happy with the original one. anyways i hope you guys enjoy this ;) (PS: sorry it turned into a chatfic in the ending)


	3. Morning Blend Coffee

Sayo was unable to get any sleep. 

_Who or what, exactly, am I playing for besides Roselia?_

The question was simple enough: everyone has a motive behind their actions. But when motivations start to feel like obligations, how do you draw the line? A band is meant to represent people who come together to make a unique sound and have fun doing it; one of the most valuable lessons she had learnt years ago when she was just getting started. The drowsiness made it hard to think too deeply about the question, so any attempt at thinking too deeply about it always led to her hitting a mental brick wall.

The early morning glow seeping in from the small window let Sayo get a better view of her surroundings. Everything was basked in an orange hue, some of it reflecting off of the sides of the monitors and other stray objects scattered about. She caught glimpses of a messy, empty bed with the sheets thrown in every direction while the remaining one bulged at the middle, light snoring confirming her obvious guess. 

Making sure not to wake up her roommates, she changed into more casual clothing: a plain dark blue shirt, a tried and true grey jacket that's become a staple for her wardrobe, a pair of jeans and some black sneakers to top it off. She'd tie her hair into a ponytail but the chilly weather made it an idea for the afternoon. 

She sat down on Ako's messy bed and thought on what to do next. She didn't feel like playing anything this early, and going back to bed was out of the picture entirely. Yukina and Lisa were probably still sleeping which limited her options severely as she found herself with nothing special to do. Classes started tomorrow and picking up the books beforehand seemed more like a chore than a head-start even if a tiny whisper demanded her to do so.

Playing guitar was an idea quickly shot down, the events of yesterday still weighing in her gut. She began to curse herself for being an early bird. It was essential to a healthy sleep schedule but the boredom from wanting to do something yet finding nothing to do was killing her. She let out a groan and took the keys, opening the door quietly and strolling out of her — well, Ako and Rinko's — dorm, making her way outside.

The cold quickly attacked whatever skin Sayo hadn't bothered to cover up with light stings, her nose soon losing all feeling. Upon stepping outside the faint memory of wishing to explore the many branching roads in town came back, mercifully offering her something to spend her time on.

The weather removed any remaining traces of fatigue from her features, but there was just one more problem she had yet to tend to before exploration, and it was breakfast. While she doesn't believe it's the most important meal of the day, it's important nonetheless. A detour was needed before she went walking around town, and she knew just the place. 

***

There Sayo stood, outside of Hazawa Café. 

The bakery was out of question, the bread-induced nausea still fresh in more than just her mind. Besides, she knew this place and its owner better than the other establishment. Tsugumi Hazawa ran the café in tandem with her parents, beginning her barista role around high-school which, piled atop her other responsibilities at the time, such as student council, band and school itself, made her wonder how she handled so many things at once and still welcomed everyone with an honest smile and exceptional service. There must've been times where she collapsed from exhaustion, surely.

Her phone's clock showed it was almost time to open shop and just before she stepped inside, a quick glance at the giant glass window on the front of the café, paired with the dark yellow dawn was known for, revealed Tsugumi sitting down on one of the booths, looking worried about something. 

_Is she by herself?_

Closer examination proved that wasn't the case. Tsugumi didn't look like she was talking to herself but rather with someone else. Her constantly changing expression, where she was looking, the way her lips moved all gave away that fact. Who she was talking to was the next question. It was only a matter of walking in and figuring out since if there were other people inside, it meant the entrance was unlocked. 

Sayo pushed the door and the ring of a bell alerted Tsugumi and her mysterious presence to her own, a brief look of panic being shared between the two before Tsugumi scrambled to turn it into her trademark smile that came out very awkward. "Oh, Sayo-san! We're, uh, not open yet, but welcome!" 

Just then on the side opposite to Tsugumi's, Moca revealed herself with a casual wave and her usual half-lidded expression, earning a groan in exchange. Her voice was practically coated with layers of teasing. "Come sit down with us, Sayo-san~ Don't be shy." 

Walking to their booth and cracking a smile at Tsugumi, Sayo then sat down beside her and revealed Himari, sat beside Moca, that greeted her instantly. Right beside each member were the instruments each member played except Tsugumi's, prompting her words to ring through her head for a second.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Aoba-san. I thought you were still asleep." Sayo acknowledged it was somewhat superficial to just assume things based on how someone acted but her surprise was evident. 

"That's mean. I'm allowed to wake up early too." Moca crossed her arms in mock disappointment, leaning back on her seat. "I like to shorten my beauty sleep so I can still leave some for you all." 

"Actually, we were up all night," Tsugumi spoke and looked off to the side, laughing weakly. "We called until around 3 AM and you fell asleep. I had to wake you up." 

"That part doesn't count." Now it was Moca's turn to look off to the side, meeting Himari's glare. "Help me Himari, I'm being slandered." 

Laughs rang throughout the café for a short while without a single care in the world. Suddenly, an alarm blared just as loud and startled them. It was coming from Tsumugi, who was quick to silence and pocket her phone. "It's to tell me when my shift starts, sorry about that." 

"It's fine." Sayo said, getting up to allow Tsumugi to get up and adjust herself, walking over to the entrance to flip the sign and open shop. She couldn't stop herself from looking at the barista's nice chestnut hair until she turned around, forcing her gaze downward.

Sayo ordered black coffee while Moca and Himari each ordered two slices of cake with some juice. Tsugumi walked off and only then did Sayo realize the mistake she had made by being left alone with the two wild cards when Himari leaned closer and put an arm on the table, supported by her elbow, head on her hand and looking at Sayo with a dreamy look.

The implication, for a second, went over her head but she quickly froze up prompting an 'ooohhh' coming from Moca who closed her eyes and sighed, offering the next jab with an imitation of Sayo's voice. "Can I get a coffee with some latte art of your face? I think it'd be a great start to my morning." 

"My face? Latte art?" Whatever implication she had gotten was completely erased as her question made room for confusion. "Why would you want latte art of my face?"

"No, not yours. Tsugu's. It's a special item on Tsugu's Super-Secret Menu." Moca said, mischief written all over her. "You should try ordering it." 

She knew she'd be falling into one of her traps if she did as she asked, but for once she wanted to take the bait voluntarily to get her mind off things. Eventually the barista came back with their orders, placing them down accordingly. Himari was the first to dig in, holding her phone — when did she take it out? — with one hand. 

"Um, excuse me, Hazawa-san." Tsugumi turned to her expectantly. "Can I get some latte art of your face on my coffee? As part of your...super secret menu." 

The slowly rising crimson on her face accompanied by two snickers confirmed their intentions. She still felt like she had the upper hand by intentionally going along with it but from the looks of it, it was all on camera. And in a quickly established tradition, it meant she'd never live it down when the video spread to two ginger-haired and purple-haired friends. 

"C-coming right up..." It was too late to stop the request. This only served to make their laughs louder and Sayo's embarrassment increase tenfold. Although she didn't mind her selfish request being fulfilled. Wait, why was it a 'selfish request' all of a sudden?

"Don't worry, I won't send it to anyone." Himari's statement brought no ounce of comfort or relief.

After the laughter died down, all that was heard were birds chirping outside as dawn turned to morning, the glow complimenting the cozy atmosphere provided by the sense of familiarity. Despite the popularity the establishment had, customers only came in at later times rather than early morning during the weekends. It provided much needed peace and quiet to the rare customer wishing for a break or sometimes the groups. Low background music soon played in tune with the chirps and the smell of coffee let a sigh escape from Sayo's lips.

The perfect atmosphere was laid out right before her, befitting of a pedestrian whose only worries were a hearty cup of joe and a moment to themselves. The two members of Afterglow seemed to agree with her thoughts, taking the time to bask in a space temporarily theirs. 

It stayed that way until Sayo's order came back, who scooted to the side to let Tsugumi sit back down with them who noticed the calm aura around the three and soon began to relax in it too like a contagion. However she had gone and done what was asked of her: Tsugumi's face was drawn with milk on the surface of Sayo's coffee, handled with the utmost care and with the love of someone with passion for their work. 

Sayo almost felt bad having to drink it and ruin the drawing but natural balance states that for every creation there is equal destruction, though that wasn't the point. The quiet gave her time to think about their instruments combined with Tsugumi's statement and to an outsider, everything seemed fine. Just three band members, none would be the wiser. But Sayo had a specialty for overthinking minuscule details, uncaring of any consequences.

Besides, she needed to ease the twisting in her gut despite it, again, being none of her business. 

"I meant to ask earlier but were you planning on rehearsing?" For a moment the atmosphere was shattered to make way for the question, but it returned just as quick. 

"We rehearsed before you came, actually," Tsugumi spoke, a finger on her chin. "since my shift lasts until lunch, Tomoe-chan doesn't really show up until around that time and Ran-chan has...responsibilities."

The ambiguity wasn't lost on her and it didn't sound like an exception but a daily occurrence. The three seem to practice with each other in the early morning without the other two members, and Sayo couldn't help but silently agree that something was definitely wrong here.

"I see. Will you be alright when college starts?" The timetables allowed the students some reign over their schedule but that didn't mean it was any less tiring. Prioritizing well-being was very important, after all. An entirely unrelated whisper in her head told her the old Sayo would disagree and work until she dropped dead.

"My work schedule will change depending on what time my classes are, so I'm fine on that regard. As for Afterglow, we'll find some way to work around everyone's needs! We didn't exactly start out stable, you know." Tsugumi tensed up at her question but dished out a reply regardless.

In that moment Sayo swore she saw their bassist flinch.

Moca nodded to her words. "It's Tsugu being Tsugurific as always~"

"H-hey...!" 

"I'll take your word for it." Sayo nodded and cut it short at that, finding no more to add. There were still many doubts she had about the trio — namely Himari — but trying to get any more information here would be awkward and pointless. She'd think it over during her walk. 

By now her mug was empty and the caffeine was beginning to kick in. She almost saw the world's colors get sharper as a side effect. Asking for Tsugumi to scoot over, she stood in front of the booth. "It was fun speaking with all of you but I'll be going now. I want to have a better look around town." 

"Ooh, we can come with you!" Himari did roughly the same, pushing herself up and looking at Moca expectantly. "It'd be like an outing of sorts! We could show you some cool places around here too, besides the restaurants and all that schbang, of course."

"I'd love to~ But..." Moca looked apologetic as she raised a hand, pointing toward Tsugumi. "I plan on sticking a little while longer. Y'know, make her morning a bit more bearable. I'd feel bad if I abandoned our hard-working barista just like that." 

"Aww..." She quickly deflated but didn't seem to let up on her offer of going with Sayo, picking up her instrument and asking Moca to make room for her to pass, almost falling forward when Moca pushed the back of her knee forward lightly. One complaint and farewell later, the two were off. 

***

The rising sun helped fight off the morning cold, making their exploration a little more bearable. The streets began showing signs of life as more pedestrians went about their daily lives quietly. Most of their trip was filled with small chat and window shopping. Sayo was always split on fashion: she preferred clothes that did their jobs during their respective seasons, but it also felt nice to treat yourself to something you enjoyed. It helped form an image of yourself beyond personality. 

Lisa was really starting to get to her.

That was besides the point right now. Sayo wanted to take a trip around town but her forefront concern had to do with the pink haired girl now introducing her to various famous spots around town. To do that, she tuned out of her rambles and began cooking up possibilities. 

To start, Afterglow hadn't rehearsed in nearly a full month but the conversation from minutes ago proved Tsugumi meant the group as a whole, not its individual members. Moca, Tsugumi and Himari rehearsed just before Sayo got there and by the looks of it, it wasn't their first time doing so. Now one thing she couldn't pin down was why the remaining two members hadn't joined in recently, especially Tomoe. According to Moca, Ran carried the weight of a century-old flower arrangement school on her back which put a damper on her schedule seemed to only get busier and busier as she came around to accepting the role of successor, so Sayo understood Ran's abcense. But one good reason for Tomoe's came up completely blank. And if not even Himari knew why Tomoe didn't show up, then the only way to be certain would be to hear from the horse's mouth.

Wait. How come not even Himari knew why?

"Oh, oh, and here's the— Sayo-chan?" In her endless daze she forgot she was still hanging out with HImari, looking confused at Sayo's unwillingness to reply or look her way, trademark of when she got too deep in thought. A glance later and Sayo realized they were currently in front of a small trinket shop, selling things like hairpins, bracelets, the sort to match.

"I got a little... carried away. Sorry, Uehara-san, but can I ask you something?" Sayo felt the seeds of guilt germinating inside her upon realizing what implications could be assumed behind such a question.

"Sure! Go ahead." 

"Why did you flinch back there? Is something wrong?" Although Sayo could have worded it better her tone and expression got the right message across. "You need not answer unless you want to since it's none of my business, but I'm... curious."

Again the bassist flinched, looking off to the side in hesitation. A few seconds passed before she turned back to face Sayo, a nervous smile completely flipping her joyous attitude around. "Do you promise to keep a secret?" 

A nod. 

"Nothing's really wrong, it's just... Afterglow doesn't feel the same anymore to me. I'm not a bad leader, am I?" Nervous laughter erupted from the bassist. "We've moved on from high-school and we all promised to stick together as a band, but we haven't rehearsed in a good while now. We'll probably never even get to if this keeps up." 

Sayo was taken aback but urged Himari to continue.

"Everyone's divided. Two of our members haven't shown up to rehearsal so we took matters into our own hands. I'm supposed to be their leader and while I feel guilty for playing without them, I don't know what else to do to bring back the band besides text them hoping I get a reply. I'm starting to have second thoughts about continuing it if it's just... going to be a chore for everyone." 

This was definitely new. Sayo had a sneaking suspicion they weren't doing well but what was leading the leader herself into considering discontinuing the band? Sayo knew better than anyone that a band could easily end days after being formed, but she felt like there was more to this than what meets the eye. However going any further than this would place her in the middle of Afterglow's issues, and she was unsure about willing to get involved any further when she could barely resolve her own. Again, as much as she wished to get to the bottom of the mystery as much as Himari did, there were only so many things she could do while keeping herself out of harms way.

"It's too soon to be thinking about ending the band." Sayo surprised herself by speaking all of a sudden, but kept going. She'd been trusted with a glimpse into their personal lives, she might as well try and help. "You've been able to solve your conflicts before and hopefully this time won't be any different. If you ever feel pressured to fix this as fast as possible, don't. You'll only find yourself going back to square one. I wish I could help more but I have no idea what to do either." 

Himari seemed to digest the words carefully, seeming more pained than before. "But what if this time we _can't?_ I always assumed every conflict we faced would turn out okay in the end but I'm starting to have doubts. It's like... everyone's doing their own thing without stopping for the others. I'm not...overthinking this, right?"

To that, Sayo found herself unable to answer, instead stuck looking back at her pained expression with an attempt at comfort, realizing she bit off more than she could chew. 

"Or am I just stuck in the past?" 

The silence was almost painful, nauseating. She felt like she had to say something or they'd both crumble to dust but nothing came. It was at this moment she came to terms with the fact that no, she didn't know Afterglow as well as she thought she did, her uselessness as key witness. She remembered that they had one core value, and it was that they'd never change drastically, but it didn't matter when their leader was starting to question that very rule.   
  
"Maybe it's time you all had a chat as a group." Sayo offered. "Figure out what you all want going forward instead of waiting for change. If you wish to find out whether it is you being stuck in the past or something else entirely, this is the right thing to do."   
  
"But when?" Himari urged.  
  
"I don't know, but you will." Sayo carried an uneasy feeling in her gut. "There'll come a time where something may happen that can either separate or bring you all closer than ever, and there perhaps you'll know what's the right decision to make in order to ensure everyone is satisfied."   
  
Himari chose to let the words ring countless times in her mind before speaking up. "Thank you. For hearing me out, I mean! I'll... see what I can do, if that guess of yours is right." 

"No problem. Do you want to go buy and something with me? We can match." Sayo said with the intention of helping the pink haired girl come down from her stress, but couldn't help feeling powerless for not being able to help any further than she already had. 

"...yeah. Yeah! Come on, I think we'll find something we like in there." All of a sudden Sayo was getting dragged inside the shop, unable to mount a resistance as Himari occupied her for half an hour before finding something they could match: hairpins.

***

A now very awake Sayo came back around the time Rinko and Ako were rising from bed, meaning she dealt with the two of them waking up and acting like they'd been caught sneaking out by their parents. She chose not to care and only to invite them to play a little bit of NFO to pass the time. 

The rest of the morning went by uneventfully. Roselia had lunch together like planned, making the most of their last day before classes started. Sayo was left alone in the afternoon as the others went out to look around town better. She chose to kick back and relax for now as the caffeine subsided and her exhaustion caught up.

She chose to lay out her own bed and take out her diary, laying down and opening it to an empty page. At first the teal-haired girl stared blankly at an empty page, reminiscing of the events that happened the day prior and this morning, soon spacing out with the upper half of her pen getting chewed out.

Well, where to start? 

Firstly, she still felt no closer to understanding her purpose in Roselia. Playing an old song in front of an eager crowd of two people confirmed a few things. One, Roselia still hadn't given up on her. The question she had asked herself this morning had her quickly realize this wasn't the point she should be focusing on anymore but rather her playing. There was no real way to describe her emotional turmoil when it happened other than melancholy, like everything she ever wanted to and not to be came crashing down on top of her with a weight equivalent to a ton. 

Expectations fought a losing battle against determination in that singular moment as she did her best to convince her mind the empty feeling in her wasn't related to her drive to continue. But no matter how she looked at it, she just... couldn't. There was nothing in there keeping her going besides Roselia and...

And what?  
  
Was she such a coward she couldn't get it out to the world? The second thing that kept pushing her to one day return as Roselia's rightful guitarist, but the same one barring her from that. It confused Sayo how one thing could both motivate and stop her from fulfilling the one promise she'd bet her life on.  
  
A flash of light blue and green was all she needed for the rollercoaster of emotions to turn at a nasty 90 degree angle in remorse and anger as she took the pen out of her mouth and began writing on the cursed diary.

  
  
_'I don't have a clear answer for who I'm playing for besides Roselia, and I don't think I'll ever be able to wholly accept the answer I'm about to give until I begin to understand Roselia itself again. Of what it means to be important to others. There is no greater wish than to return to the people I let down. Would it be selfish to ask them to endure this pain while I struggle and writhe to regain my passion?'_  
  
  


Then it hit her.

What she was doing, what she had done; all of it had been utterly selfish.

Any chance of Future World Fes shot down because of a guitarist's personal issues, and all it took were a multitude of bad decisions to seal the fate of over 9 people. The guitarist still took her friends for granted and she would never find a way to repay them unless she began to right her wrongs.

Taking on others' issues wouldn't help solve her own. She'd gain nothing out of doing that when it wouldn't fix any of the things she'd done, because nobody would be there to solve her issues for her. 

So, her unforgiving mission began here, 3 years later. She now knew what had to be done in order to ever obtain the happy ending she dreamt of every night.

  
  
_'There will never be a day in my life I won't regret beginning to be selfish. If there's one thing motivating and holding me back from returning,'_  
  
  


Her hand trembled as she wrote the last three words, the undeniable truth that cleared the fog in her but deprived her of oxygen.  
  


_'it's my sister.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah its one of those sayo fics. strap on!  
> it took so long to get this out because of tests and other unrelated things (bearing the weight of happiness which is another inspiration) so it laid there collecting dust until today and i decided to throw in a little bit more information to clear things up. if some of it is confusing then dont worry, next chapter SHOULD clear some of it up  
> regardless i hope it doesnt look too rushed and i hope you guys are enjoying it so far!


	4. Identity Fraud

_'it's my sister.'_   
  


The three words made Sayo's hand tremble, the pen in her hand soon clattering on the floor unceremoniously as old wounds opened up, emotions dangerously close to spilling over equal to crimson red from a severed artery about to bleed out. For a brief moment she felt like being submerged underwater before the solution of wiping her eyes reminded her she was still on land. Even now Sayo was still incapable of mentioning her without the room spinning and her vision blurring, guilt launching a full-out attack as an uncomfortable memory resurfaced, one long buried as part of her quickly changing mission to bury the past.

But asking yourself what other motivations lie behind your playing, jotting down a mention of missing family, and gaining the sudden fear of being left behind didn't exactly sound like burying the past. If anything it felt like the world warning you of something, the gears of fate working to spell out 'impending judgement' in bold letters. 

The first signs of a headache combined with the possibility of a nervous breakdown wasn't making things easy; her day had just started, and with every second longer she stared at the page was one more second of agony, a light guitar melody beginning to resonate within her. A guitar that once enraged her, now a guitar that reminded her to never take anything for granted. 

Slowly the room around her began to turn dark with Sayo at its center. She wasn't in her dorm anymore.  
  
A stage was mounted before her. On top of its moldy and creaking floorboards was a figure carrying a guitar, presumed to be the culprit behind the melody. The stage itself had ragged red cloth for curtains, the semicircle stretching from one side to another was filled with holes no doubt caused by wear and tear, and the lightbulbs, covered in glass and remnants of mercury, meant to shine with pretty colors refused to live on.  
  
The figure behind the guitar was indiscernible minus its eyes, playing for an audience of one. Two pairs of green eyes looked to and fro, a brief duel between the pain and the void. Sayo had no clear idea who of the two belonged to the void, and who belonged to be surrounded with friends. All she could focus on was the scarily vivid scene laid out before her.

No other instrument could be heard in the dark confines of her imagination. No drumming, or bass, or singing or keyboard to distract her from reality: only the lonely guitar played by a girl who lost it all thanks to a lonely girl.

The figure seemed mostly content with its assigned role and the melody it churned out with each flick of its wrist, bringing out the instrument's full potential with each strum of its tried and true strings. It paced around the stage, hopping and skipping around much like a child would in front of thousands in a school play. The song itself was one Sayo had burnt into her mind years ago that only brought back painful memories she wouldn't ever get rid of.   
  
Regardless, Sayo wanted the show to go on forever not to hurt herself as a form of punishment but to hear the familiar playing just a while longer. Until she felt satisfied enough to let go of this black dreamscape forged out of fear and years of solitude. Until she believed she went far enough back in time to fix the mistakes that haunt her to this day.  
  
To become the sister she always hoped to be, not the one she came to be.  
  
But all shows must come to an end, and the curtains must draw. The melody ceased to play as Sayo heard her heartbeat speed up dramatically upon realizing this marked the end of her fantasy. The figure fell down from the stage and slowly paced until it was face to face with its spitting image. Sayo's five senses all came to a halt as she saw the person formed out of her mistakes: the girl who threw her life away all for the happiness of others.

And now she knew. There was so much left unsaid that fated day.  
  
Before the world as she knew it came undone.

"Hi—"

In one swift motion Sayo tore the page from the diary's spine, the resulting noise scaring away the figure and dissolving the dark void, and thrusting her back in the unforgiving dorm room she had been transported out of. Both the stage and the guitarist on top of it disappeared in a flash, proving they were indeed a product of her imagination all along. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't return to the dark void that dared look her in the eye, now left with fatigue, guilt, cold sweating and labored breathing.

After minutes of uselessly staring at the torn page proved unsuccessful in letting her escape into the twisted dark void that gave her some reprieve Sayo balled the page up, stuffed it into one of her pockets and hid the diary in her collection of clothing inside her bag. A bed never felt more welcoming than then when her head collided with the pillow, a sigh escaping her. 

Nothing about the ceiling was remarkable: plain, white, unoriginal and uninteresting. Yet Sayo's thoughts drifted off to years past at the sight as an ironic realization began to emerge in the form of a bitter and hopeless chuckle.

Wasn't this all scarily similar to how _that_ day panned out years ago? Fate... was cruel.

A diary entry, forcing her to a conclusion, quickly torn and discarded. The weight of her crippling flaws exhausting her. Distant eyes taking in the ceiling momentarily.

The rustling of bedsheets followed by turn of a doorknob and a click. Silent footsteps. A closed wooden door, begging to be opened. 

Another click. 

The morning glow seeping in from the opened window illuminating a muted blue, messy bedroom. 

An empty, messy bed. Untouched school books for that day's classes. 

A moment of realization.

Knees hitting the ground.

A missing sister. 

***

Sayo's fears of a pounding headache were confirmed when her eyes creaked open to the concerned looks of Ako and Rinko, the chuunibyou resting a hand used to shake her out of sleep (when did she fall asleep?) on her shoulder that also acted as a comforting gesture she only came to understand when her pillow felt damp. 

It didn't take rocket science to recognize the person behind the green eyes and the guitar. Sayo felt like if she didn't name the figure based on those details alone it'd only be more painful and at that point she slammed the thought process brakes full force as to prevent an onslaught of bad decisions and words from spilling out before a crowd she felt unmotivated to explain the why's and what's of possible theories on her pathetic display. 

Roselia's plans to dive into the NFO PvP scene the day before classes started was like a savior to Sayo in that moment, using the event as an excuse to not explain the vivid visions a few hours prior. She thanked her lucky stars in that moment for their lesser involvement in the PvP scene despite their reputation in the gamemode. 

NFO's PvP mode offered a variety of choices. One on one battles, two on two battles, so on and so forth. Each mode had their respective leaderboard to categorize players' skill levels with ranks and help you pick apart which ones could serve you like fine dining in a luxurious restaurant and which ones would be tucking their tail between their legs. The modes with the most active communities were the one on one and the Group Battles. 

Group Battles consisted of a team of five against another team of five but with a catch: you couldn't match with randoms, only with your friends. It was a debilitating mechanic that got recently addressed in the form of an addition of a separate Group Battles mode that let you fight alongside complete strangers but whose popularity was predictably outshined by the pre-existing one. The situation was extremely ironic and made into an inside joke within the community.

Then again, asking for the best of two worlds was too much when it came to free to play games. 

Roselia was a small name known in-game due to each member filling in for each other's weaknesses. To find an opening against them would be a miracle as they relied on strategy more than mindless ability spamming; even if such thing was a viable strategy in itself (as with many other MMORPGs) meaning few teams broke through their steel defense.

Unless your name was Poppin*Party.

Poppin*Party was one of few teams able to break through their steel defense. The major point of their gameplay was their focus on unpredictability while coming up with strategies on the fly. Every member in the group of five would formulate their own game plan and execute it while keeping it flexible enough to have it become a core part of a unified strategy. On more simplistic terms it meant they analyzed your way of playing and reacted depending on the weaknesses and strengths that came with your class and your own strategy and reacted accordingly, reducing your chances of winning even further if they'd fought you before.

And when Poppin*Party came together as a team to secure a win, it meant they were taking you seriously. 

Only recently did either of them manage to make a name for themselves in Group Battles: before that, they were stuck with four on four battles or forming a giga-party to complete worldwide events together. The addition of a new member — real name Tae Hanazono — finally pitted them against each other in the more widely known mode.

Tae Hanazono was... an interesting person. An extremely laid-back attitude and an uncontested love for bunnies were Sayo's first impressions on her, and Tae's impressive in-game skill allowed her to fit like a glove into Poppin*Party. Her tone of voice matched the feeling she gave off too and overall, she was as welcoming to everyone as they were to her if not mysterious.

Welcoming to everyone except Sayo, however.

Tae didn't seem too... _happy_ with her presence. When they first introduced themselves she remarked how Sayo's voice was "familiar" with a bit of venom in her tone. It was mostly ignored except by Sayo herself, left confused for a brief moment but never dedicated too much time behind a possible second meaning. 

The real surprise came when Tae vowed to end Sayo on the spot when the latter named herself, in a nonchalant voice like what she was saying was completely normal and valid. 

One statement that drove the normally hectic voice chat into uncharacteristic silence. That was the first time they'd ever met, as Sayo had never interacted with one Tae Hanazono at any point in her life except that one day — so any logical possibility her brain formulated was rendered invalid by that one fact. If there was any action that directly affected her in a way that prompted the threat then either she had Sayo confused for someone else or she hit her head hard before joining the call. All she did was introduce herself, so it was somewhat uncalled for but three minutes spent arguing and calming down the bunny enthusiast wanted to argue otherwise; she didn't seem to want to give up the reasons to why either. Sayo chose to move on and hold a tiny grudge against her out of confusion however.

Of course, Sayo would be lying if she said the threat wasn't hot on her mind mainly thanks to Poppin*Party attending the same college and two of their members taking the same classes as her, one of them being Tae. Though as it stood she really wasn't in the mood to find the reason behind the threat yet — as it stood she had enough questions on her plate with possibly life-changing answers and one more would only add misery to her stack of existing issues. 

Sayo took a while to realize the two groups were placed in the waiting room, offering a chance to change gear and share strategies to execute, before the match started.

"You all have the gear you need, right? Something tells me this won't be an easy fight." Yukina's voice rang through everyone's headphones, calm and sure. 

"Everything under control here!" Ako replied, pumping a fist only Rinko and Sayo could see into the air.

"We'll be fine. Just remember to not let me out of Sayo's view." Lisa added. 

Rinko and Sayo chose hums for their own approval, gear already picked out. Sayo chose a tankier build than usual that sacrificed DPS in the name of protecting their healer and Rinko, to make up for the tanker's build, chose items that would boost her DPS but send her defense plummeting toward the lower triple digits that, compared to Sayo's high quadruple digits, made her a glass cannon.

"Right, so what is our plan? We still haven't got much of a grasp on how to go about this except having me and Minato-san protect Imai-san." Sayo pondered, curious what plan they were going for this time around. 

Yukina's role as the bard allowed her to provide multiple buffs to her team, raising their stats even further but much like Rinko she was as fragile as glass, minus the cannon. Having her on the front lines spelt disaster even with Ako's all-around capabilities.

"You can switch from protecting Imai-san and Yukina-san to me and Ako-chan if we need emergency back-up," Rinko answered. "Yukina-san will buff us accordingly, Imai-san works on keeping us healthy while me and Ako-chan will dish out damage. If this formation ever breaks or you're baited out of protecting someone, cast your ultimate on the one in bigger danger. If _that_ doesn't work then we stick together and make sure nobody dies in that process." 

"Focus on protecting them more than us," Ako said, completing Rinko's plan. "we can hold our own with low HP and if any one of those two die, we're one step closer to being screwed. This plan relies entirely on your survival, Sayo-san, so if you're the first to die and we haven't taken anyone down, then we're _definitely_ screwed." 

Right. Another reason for the group events being special was how serious those two could get with planning and strategizing, almost like one wasn't social anxiety given form and the other a teenager whose imagination was only contested by lack of maturity. 

Sayo ignored the voice in her head that blamed their leveling up competition contributing toward them being more competitive.

"And if we're all together, I suggest we form a circle to protect Minato-san and Imai-san but try to split up as quickly as possible. I know I'm able to use my skills to keep us safe but if they pin us in a circle of their own then our formation is useless." It was a good plan but if they were stuck between a rock and a hard place it'd only contribute to their downfall.

"Easy. Yukina-san throws out her ult and Rin-rin teleports her, Lisa-nee and herself out of the circle and we melt their health. Sound good?" Ako's final words on their plan were mutually accepted and with that, the planning phase was over. 

It was go-time. 

***

To put it in Ako's terms, "we got our asses handed to us." 

The match went off without a hitch. Like predicted Sayo was baited out of breaking the starting formation thus prompting her to send out her ultimate toward the support group and assisting the DPS dealers until the ability wore off. Ako and Rinko's health were cut down to the last digits well into battle but it didn't stop them from pulling off extremely risky plays that paid off with the fall of Arisa (tank) and Saaya (bard), and Yukina's ultimate gave everyone a breather and a chance to regain control over the fight but the powerful duo quickly fell afterward by Kasumi's hand. With Roselia having its two most powerful fighters killed off alongside Poppin*Party's core support and shield they were set for victory IF Sayo began picking up offense instead of defense.

Post-match (and much too late to rethink her decisions in detail), Sayo wished she had done just that instead of letting her thoughts soar to the events that went down this morning.

A well-known rule of thumb is that the harder you try not to think about something then you were more likely to think about it. Sayo traded this valuable nugget of information in exchange of chanting a mantra in her head to focus on the fight happening onscreen. Being thrown into the action momentarily instead of acting as a show-off bodyguard were the only moments she could fully get the distraction she craved. And therein lied the problem that gave birth to another: Poppin*Party sought to fight Roselia's buffs and heals with their own; fighting fire with fire. This meant the amount times she got any action was the sneak attack launched and quickly fended off on the support unit when they regained dominance over the fight, and making her stand when her lack of attention made for a close call after Ako and Rinko fell after the support trio were thrown into the spotlight.

The other problem was how a role in a virtual fight made Sayo question her overall role in Roselia. It made for a very cruel analogy once she took her time mulling over an answer.

A team of five working together toward a common goal with each one filling out roles to fill in for shortcomings of the others and vice versa, finding ways to work around their own weaknesses instead of trying to address them directly. In the process their sense of friendship and teamwork gets deepened, allowing them to get to know each other better outside their assigned duty.

Yukina paved an important path for others that brought forth their maximum potential alongside high risk high reward moves. One of the many pillars behind the overwhelming and destructive power Roselia radiated by playing a role so bold yet easily forgotten. She was extremely adaptable too and with influence so great, she could stand on her own without others' help. However she chose to share her experiences with others so they could get a chance to develop. 

Lisa was the reason Roselia stood together until the very end by playing such a seemingly small, insignificant role that made a huge difference. A heart of gold that never accepted half-assed attempts from herself to make sure everyone was as steady as possible, no matter the cost. Her role didn't consist of exuding overwhelming amounts of power like Yukina. She radiated warmness and kindness meant to allow others to relax and do their best, unrestrained by stress and allowing everyone to act properly in moments of disaster. It consisted of building the very foundations of what Roselia was, would and could be. 

Ako was pacified chaos. A powerhouse that ran across paths without hesitation and unafraid to display the group's accomplishments and skills they honed overtime in a satisfying, non-boasting manner. This came with the downfall of requiring one of the biggest amounts of leverage to handle her erratic choices but made up by the fact she wouldn't ever fail her task when met with the right amount of support, wearing her badge of great responsibility with pride. An influence that always promised to do its best with nothing to prove.

Rinko was a calm but powerful hurricane that intentionally kept you in the eye of the storm before launching you into its winds when you'd least expect it. Her demeanor was as calm as a soft spring breeze yet underneath the shy smile lied a force to be reckoned with, her expression betraying her wide scope of knowledge and experiences that only kept getting better with each day, small victory after small victory. A person who embodied the metaphor 'don't judge a book by its cover' but never let it mold her into someone else that wasn't her. 

If one couldn't recognize the talent Roselia worked hard to achieve, then sooner or later they'd quickly regret not knowing better. 

But what could Sayo offer? What was her role, her special ability, that made her stand out in Roselia? 

Wait, no. No. She could still back out of this train of thought while she was still rational. Overthinking one measly fight in a game and years of musical hiatus was equal to blowing everything out of proportion and not significant of her being entirely useless. 

Was it?

Sayo felt sick of her own actions everyday. Roselia's dreams came crashing down thanks to her and try as they might she wasn't sure whether they'd ever be able to step on a stage with the same audience numbers they'd gotten so used to after months of hard work and improvement. Few denied their quality and even fewer opposed it but that didn't matter if your very existence was just a vacant memory in the back of everyone's minds. And every musician knew their true death was signalled by the day their works, influence and existence were forgotten by the general public. 

The death of an artist was a seriously unforgiving process. At what point did she begin to forget about the people who supported the band's work? Better yet, was there any way to restore their reputation after 3 years of silence or would their accomplishments only be memories of a time long gone? 

"Well, that's that." Yukina spoke into her mic, ending her statement with a sigh. "We could've done better though. I don't think rushing into trouble is a good idea everytime, Ako."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Ako replied. 

"Maybe, but I'd like to reduce deaths to a minimum. We only had two DPS dealers. Next time we should think more in-depth about what to do when you both die instead of screaming ideas in wild panic."

Playing their music hurt. It hurt more beyond any incurable illness or physical exhaustion. Sayo's thoughts diverted toward her awful guitar performance Rinko and Ako heard, and how every note served to send her self-esteem to dangerously low levels and snap at Ako. Her stomach churned at the possible sight of her friends' distraught and tear-filled expressions if she couldn't live up to their expectations. The sight of faces who were once so hopeful and patient now turned into despairful and disappointment.

Between that and allowing them to replace her entirely, she'd rather spare them their tears. Actually, why hadn't she done that sooner? Why hadn't _they_ done that sooner? Sayo was once an important part of their band, but not so important to the point of waiting years to make a comeback. Couldn't they have just replaced her? At least then they'd be happy. Happy, working toward Future World Fes and probably even being able to. So why...?

So many questions with no answers. Why was it only _now_ she sought to repair the damage done or think of ways to mitigate it?

_This is the first time you've played something we made for... years. I don't want it to be your last._

...no.

_You have all the time you need, so...don't worry about catching up._

No, she didn't. Sayo had used up all the time the world was willing to provide. Nobody else would wait for her if she chose to simply run away from her problems like all these years. And she was sick and tired of running. All it did was ruin everything and everyone around her. 

It was now or never.

_You'll find who or what you're playing for if you keep trying._

Better late than never.  
  
She needed to save herself, for the sake of Roselia.

***

With groggy eyes, a foul mood and a persistent need to return to the simple comfort of bedsheets, Sayo walked into the first of many classes. 

As Sayo expected, Roselia walked to their respective class, Music, together while chatting about yesterday's battle. Some light quips and remarks later and they fell into silence upon sitting down, waiting for the lecture to start. Seeing a full classroom didn't come as a surprise during the first day but in a few weeks time that'd all change depending on everyone's individual schedules. She wondered how many times they'd all head into classes together further into the semester.

Eventually the teacher demanded everyone's attention and the lesson began. Five minutes in and Sayo already found the extensive rows of people more interesting than what was being written or said, unable to focus even if her life depended on it. Although she was half-asleep she managed to identify some of the students there. From her seat she saw one Poppin*Party member, more specifically Saaya, talking to someone else with dark brown hair; Tsugumi on the first few bottom rows, seemingly paying close attention; bright pink hair hue that made her turn away at the speed of light and consequently be met with a grey cap customized with a bear pin (how did the teacher not yell at them to take it off?). However when Lisa nudged Sayo and asked her if she had made any efforts to take notes or pay attention, she made one to try and focus.

Between the end of the lecture and the start of the second one, Sayo made some small talk with Tsugumi. Seeing her by her lonesome gave the two a chance to talk minus the risk of chaos. Just simple small chat to lighten up each other's days and ask how they've been with no real aim. On the topic of Afterglow's remaining members, Sayo never learnt what Himari and Tomoe pursued. Besides Tsugumi, she knew Moca was taking computer science (and not graphic design surprisingly enough. A quip about wasted potential surged and she forced it down quick) and from what she heard, Ran threw herself into business as to prepare to manage the school on a more profound level (alongside a remark from the vocalist herself about how she'd find a way to send Moca into financial poverty dare she leak their chatlogs). 

They quickly split up again and as Sayo sat down to ready herself for a second lengthy lecture but knew that wouldn't happen when her thoughts soared to the nervous breakdown that almost came to be yesterday and sighed out of frustration. She really couldn't get a break, huh. Alright, she could entertain this line of thought for a second.

Sayo finally knew what she was playing for besides Roselia, however that didn't mean she could just go back to her role as their guitarist. She needed time to readapt to the instrument she made little effort to play even though her wishes were to surpass her own potential and go far beyond that. Sayo wanted to make up for the potential past years could've given her but were wasted, for the chance at finding closure for her actions, and to prove she wasn't a pebble in everyone's shoes. But what was her role in Roselia? A shallow answer such as 'their guitarist' didn't feel appropriate; it felt superficial. 

What could she do to service Roselia? An answer obtained from its other members clearly wouldn't satisfy her, it'd only quell her doubts momentarily before they came back twice as strong and twice as dark. As much as Sayo cherished them and their constant support, she required an answer that completely erased her doubts and made her feel at peace at last. The true question was how she'd find the answer.

...

Actually, there was a way. 

Her subconscious hand movements jotting down class notes stopped as a somewhat risky suggestion came up. There was one way of slowly adjusting herself into rejoining Roselia, one that'd benefit or destroy her in the long term as it not only could help get used to her abandoned instrument but also rediscover the emotions being in a band provided, or that'd damage relationships and come off as extremely irresponsible and presumptuous for not considering everyone's feelings but her own.

The suggestion? Joining a new band. 

In that one moment it sounded absolutely rational in her desperate mindset. Playing any of Roselia's songs made her feel like her insides would come right out her mouth in an instant as proven by multiple instances in the past and one recent tryout.

Did Sayo care? Excluding the part where she was really pushing the boundaries of how far they'd forgive her actions, and the end justifies the means and the soul-crushing guilt for what she was about to consider? Nope. 

Maybe impending judgement wasn't so far off from what would happen if she kept up her horrible decisions.

***

Again, like she was warned about, Roselia would be busy this afternoon and many more to come.

Sayo didn't hold any grudges against them for practicing without her, and she was willing to bet money they'd been doing so for 3 years. They needed to uphold the fantastic performances they held once they returned, so who was she to stop or criticize them?   
She'd be a hypocrite for doing so when her own set of choices were unjustifiable and seemed like very bad ideas in the eyes of even a grade-schooler. Yes, her own abilities would pale in comparison to theirs by a landslide when the time came to return which further justified her sick plan. Or she was just looking for justification for what was certainly about to be her undoing should circumstances take a turn for the worse.

If Sayo went back to the dorm now, one deafeningly silent, her vacant thoughts would overwhelm her. The possibility of returning to the void was alluring but after discovering it could very well lead into her crying her eyes out, maybe she'll stay away from quiet rooms for a while. So she opted to instead make way to the park in the center of town as to be able to wind down a little. The late hours of the afternoon provided Sayo with a gorgeous view of the setting sun on the horizon, bringing with it a painfully familiar yet strikingly beautiful orange glow that gave life to everything it could light up. Some birds chirped and their songs allowed her a moment of calm while walking around, admiring the pedestrians wishing to return home or the elderly who chose to stay a while longer and find beauty in the scenery.

The only disturbance that didn't let her fully relax were the posters littered across the park, stapled or glued across multiple parts almost like ads on a bus stop. Sayo's curiosity eventually peaked as she passed one around the halfway mark of her walk and could clearly read its contents.

  
_AIMING FOR THE SPOTLIGHT? COME AND JOIN AN AMBITIOUS PROJECT!_   
_RAP GROUP WITH LITTLE OBJECTIVES: THE SKY'S THE LIMIT, SO HAVE FUN_   
_Looking for:_   
_\- Guitarist_   
_\- Bassist_   
_\- Drummer_   
_\- Vocalist_   
_COME SAY HELLO TO HELLO, WORLD_   
_DIAL THIS NUMBER TO LEARN MORE_

  
Analyzing its contents almost felt like a conveniently timed blessing and curse.

No space was wasted on the sheets of paper. The ad was short and sweet, no beating around the bush with unnecessary information. Just like it should be. Nothing about its design was eye-catching however, only its contents. Normally Sayo would look at an offer like this with a scoff, and then move on with her life. But times were different now. She'd almost accept the offer had it not been for the rap group part. As much as she wanted (and didn't want) her plan to come alive, she wasn't so desperate as to audition for a genre she didn't particularly enjoy that much.

"Kind of bland for a recruitment form." 

"Ah—" Sayo flinched and turned to the voice, met with a girl barely taller than her looking at the ad with an uninterested look but a laid-back attitude with green eyes and dark brown hair.  
  
"All the essentials are here but it could be better..." The stranger ignored her and kept going, a pensive expression on their face as they turned to Sayo. "Don't you agree?"

"Um—"

Only then did it seem like they even noticed Sayo standing there, their previous look now replaced by a more friendly and relaxed one. "I didn't see you there, sorry if I scared you. Are you thinking of joining them?"

"Are you the one who hung them up?" Something about their voice was oddly familiar to Sayo. Like she'd heard it before but couldn't quite place where. Examining the other person's appearance didn't help in the slightest however, it was exclusively the voice that rang bells. Although the brown hair was something she recalled seeing in the classroom...

"Me? Nope. I'm just someone passing by who saw them." They shrugged and flashed a lazy smile at Sayo, now analyzing her top to bottom. Only after that did their smile seem more strained than anything, hiding an ulterior emotion. "Does Tae Hanazono sound familiar?" 

Ah. That explained the sense of familiarity. "From... Poppin*Party, correct?" 

Sayo wasn't sure what expression she graced Tae's eyes with as her face muscles struggled to stay stable, but it seemed to appease the Poppin*Party member.

"And you're Hik—...Sayo-san, right? Nice to meet you in person." Tae sent a hand out for a handshake eagerly.

Sayo saw no reason to be rude and mirrored her action, shaking hands for a few seconds before bringing it back to her side. 

Awkward silence quickly followed with the two staring at each other like a competition over who'd blink first, one Sayo felt the urge to not admit defeat to. To this day, Tae still felt like a mystery that couldn't be deciphered due to her come-and-go nature that gave her an ominous aura, almost like she had the answers to every question in the universe. It wasn't on the same level as Moca's though, wherein the bread enthusiast could appear from thin air and provide an answer upon earning context, Tae made her feel like she'd appear when you least expect it to give the answer to some confusing question she was informed on just by glaring into your soul for a couple of seconds. Or to remind you to stay in your place. A very confusing middle ground, Sayo thought.

In the silence Sayo recalled the words Tae spoke to her months prior when they first met, feeling her formality start to drop realizing she was face to face with the person that hurled a threat at her for absolutely no reason. They made up but it didn't mean she had fully forgiven her for her words especially when they only had just met. She could've been affiliated with Poppin*Party as long as she wished, it didn't mean Sayo had to pretend like it didn't happen. So she crossed her arms and glared at Tae, who didn't so much as move.

"So, I've been meaning to ask you for a while now, but what was up with ending m—" 

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got somewhere to be. Nice meeting you in person, Sayo-san!" Sayo was so concerned with demanding an answer out of Tae she didn't realize her glare wasn't directed at her but behind her.   
  
But one look at Tae and all Sayo saw was contempt so strong it almost made her take a step back.  
  
"W-wait!" 

_Is she running away from someone?_

Some amount of frustration welled up inside Sayo as she wished to give chase but another voice called from behind her, leading her to turn around to find the source behind the shout and was met with the pin-bearing cap-wearing girl she saw in her class earlier that day. She couldn't contain herself and paced toward the girl in question, looking down at her bent form.

"May I help you?" Sayo was up to here with the past few days, and proof of that was how the only thing keeping her here was moral obligation. 

"I... I'm good, don't worry... but..."   
  
The girl waited a few seconds before finishing her sentence, standing properly now albeit panting.   
  
"...I think I'm the one who can help you." 

"If you are the one behind the posters around town, I don't wish to join your rap group." Sayo quickly forced out.   
  
"You didn't even let me finish." The girl glared tiredly before continuing. "I'm the one behind the posters but I'm not here to personally ask you to join me."   
  
"And that is...?" 

"Before I continue, do you play any instrument?"   
  
"I used to." Sayo muttered. "The guitar, specifically. While I don't wish to join anything just yet, I want to learn to play it again."   
  
The girl went silent for a while before continuing. "Do you mean the basics and stuff like that?"   
  
"I already know how to play it, but I don't know _how_ to play it." To Sayo, saying it that raw still felt like too much to take in.   
  
"...I think I get what you mean. You're trying to find lost passion, or something of the like. Right?"   
  
"Correct." Although... "You sound like you have experience with that sort of thing."   
  
"Let's... just say I knew someone who was in the same situation as you." The girl looked off to the side and laughed nervously before turning back. "I'm willing to help you if you're able to put up with sessions taking place around the same time I have rehearsal with my group, if I ever get to start it off."   
  
"Wouldn't that be too much work?" Sayo inquired, now suspicious of the offer.   
  
"It isn't. I've handled worse than giving away a few hours of my time to five people." Her confident voice echoed in Sayo's head. "So, what do you say? You in?" 

If this was life's way of revealing its sick sense of humor, then she had no other choice than to laugh grimly.

"I won't force you into playing for me, or for someone else. All I'll be doing is helping you along the way as you try to find what you're looking for, because you look like someone who has a lot of potential. That, and I don't think fate would be so kind as to let us live out the lives we want." 

While the last part weirded Sayo out, everything else about the offer seemed like exactly what she was searching for. It was certainly better than joining some random band and getting caught up in a bigger calamity than the one she was living in but was this really all as it seemed? Just a kind offer from a kind stranger volunteering to expand her musical horizons in the name of fate? Or something else entirely that would begin an irreversible chain of events that tested how far she would go for the ones she loved?

The answer to the question was obvious. 

The reason why she trusted the offer of a mere stranger more than every bit of advice Roselia had ever given her since her hiatus 3 years ago. She needed a second opinion from someone who was unbiased. Someone who could give their critique with no sugarcoating or any sort of beating around the bush. 

Only when she felt comfortable with her own sound would she feel comfortable with playing before Roselia. Because if Sayo stood before them and performed any one of their songs, their words would be nothing more than sweet honey lies meant to satisfy her, but in reality they'd only hold her back from her goal. And even where Yukina's sincere criticism existed, there would only be mild approval brought on by pity.  
  
After all, a liar was worthy of nothing but lies. 

What could go wrong with accepting an offer like this? 

The girl awaited Sayo's response with growing impatience and shivering breaths, holding her arms in a futile attempt to keep herself warm.

"If you're willing to be patient with me..."  
  
"I'll take up your offer." Sayo finished. 

The girl let out a sigh of relief eked out by a slight grin. "I was certain I was about to freeze my butt off if you hadn't answered sooner... my name's Misaki Okusawa. You can just call me Misaki if you'd like, no honorifics or anything." 

Sayo offered one of her own grins, built out of politeness and formality. "Mine is Sayo Higura. A pleasure to meet you, Okusawa-san."   
  
In that moment, Misaki's eyes shot open and melancholy replaced her tired satisfaction. Whether her reaction was done out of shock or reasons beyond Sayo's understanding, it didn't matter to her. 

"Nice to meet you, Sayo Higura. I hope we get to know each other better."   
  
If Misaki said fate brought them together, Sayo would gladly accept that as the truth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this took longer than expected.  
> this chapter marks the end of the sayo introduction part! (a fight scene was planned during the NFO roselia vs popipa bit but i scrapped it as itd be filler and i was too unmotivated to)  
> at the cost of providing more context and details i went off track with my original plans but thats alright  
> IN OTHER NEWS thank you guys for 20 kudos and 330 reads!! it seems like such a small number but to think 20 people thought of giving kudos and that so many people wanted to check this story out made me happy and is part of my inspiration to keep writing :))) so i hope that this chapters quality is better than the rest  
> as with the update schedule, it'll still be a while before xmas break and these next weeks have tests but i'll see what i can do.  
> with all that said, next chapter will be misakis side of events up until this point!
> 
> EDIT 2: okay so i had a crisis over that do NOT ignore the name. sorry for being disorganised but i just kinda messed up there (for context i messed around with the last name too much and it confused me but its back to how it was before so were good! i promise the next chapters wont involve messes like this again)


	5. Exile by Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki and Tae talk about what comes next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. hopefully i'm not too late  
> IMPORTANT NOTE: the first half of this chapter takes place almost 1 month before the date of the main storyline and its a flashback while the second half takes place a week before classes start! the following chapter will take place around the same time as sayos first one: three to two days before classes start  
> 2ND IMPORTANT NOTE: important info at the end of the chapter. please read it

A dirty train car hauled Misaki and a former colleague toward an unknown location and uncertain futures, and away from the place they grew up in together. The whooshing blurs of landscapes and city buildings drove Misaki as the realization of moving someplace completely different kept dawning on her more and more.

Misaki gripped the suit-sized case, partner to her travels with enough room inside to fit all her belongings and then some, with clammy and uncertain hands, drawing out a long sigh in a futile attempt to calm herself down. Her gaze fell on its worn pattern that mixed faint greys with blacks swirling together in harmonious disarray resembling outer space and some of its many galaxies. 

Tae's usual grin failed to hide the more unpleasant implications her true demeanor consisted of, and Misaki's gaze kept meeting hers thus forcing her head down as if avoiding death itself. The sunset conveniently placed behind Tae only added to how threatening the DJ made her out to be and reasonably so. It was only fit for Misaki to play the role of defeated villain brought down by the unsung hero's swift judgment, in an ending unfitting of a child's storybook.

Moving away from home was always interpreted as the next step in life, representing growth over the years and independence. 

But right now all it stood for was the ultimate price to pay for her sins. Sins she couldn't take back but ones she could be forgiven for in their own way if she proved worthy enough of such a luxury.

Although if she saw past the intimidating glare for a second, Misaki found confusion in her wake. The other had brought bags presumably as full as her own and just prior to stepping into the train riding her off into the unknown Misaki swore she saw something pricking the corner of Tae's eyes, and confirming she wasn't all ditzy mystery and brutal honesty.

Perhaps that clarified why they both looked for solace in each other's presence all of a sudden and not the worn down neighborhoods they'd walked on countless times as they grew up and matured.

The train car rattled at uneven intervals providing Misaki with breathing room to sort her thoughts out on what she wanted to say now that Tae's focus was on her. Some small talk could help soothe the agonizing hours of travel to come, and some answers as to why she was here would be great too. 

"You didn't have to come with me, you know." Misaki began.

"I'm not following you though. I think." Tae's lazy grin did well to cover any of her true intentions. 

"Then why are you here?" 

"I'm taking a sort of break. Though, I told them they could keep on going without me," Tae answered, a now-distant look in her eyes complementing the complex grin. "And assigned LOCK to take over for me in the meantime."

"LOCK? What about H—" Misaki stopped herself from finishing the question that would certainly get her tongue cut off.

Silence became the third passenger on the empty train car, worsening the suffocating atmosphere Misaki had wanted to get rid of. She hadn't expected someone to board the train with her much less someone who had no qualms about seeing her drop dead. The worn floor suddenly became more appealing to look at than an enigma in the form of a talented guitarist, though staring at the ground didn't dismiss her from Tae's unnerving look and the growing temptation to slam her forehead against the dirty floor and spout out apologies at an alarming rate was only held back by the wish to retain what little remained of her dignity.

Though would an apology fix anything at this point? It wouldn't make up for years of bad business and incorrigible moral choices, and if it had she wouldn't be here right now but in lieu back at the studio producing music alongside the others.

"I need some time to think about what I wanna do now, though." If there was any hint of indecisiveness in Tae's voice, Misaki was none the wiser. "I want to try something new."

Misaki found herself short on a reply, instead opting to listen in silence while Tae still had it in her to talk to Misaki.

"This feels like the right time for change. All of the action is starting to feel draining. Although there's no doubt we're much better off without you," Tae's words impaled Misaki's chest like a spear. "And a new leader is always refreshing, a change this big into the rabbit hole is tiring."

Misaki's confusion became more visible as words whirred and came together in her head, holding it in fear of a headache. Wasn't that statement alone contradictory? If she didn't want any change, then why was she enforcing it? What was 'something new?' Furthermore, did all this mean she _enjoyed_ Misaki's leadership? 

The possibility was discarded almost immediately upon recalling what she just said. Good going, common sense.

"Isn't that the exact opposite of what you're doing by leaving them and letting LOCK take over for you?" Misaki looked up from the ground expressing curiosity, subtlety thrown out the same window she had peered out of. 

Tae's eyes sparked attentively, an uncharacteristic frown slowly forming on her lips. "I meant that I want a change of pace, Misaki. Something slower and calmer than what I've been doing for the past years, like when we first started out."

"A new leader usually means a change of pace. Or are you just leaving because there's a chance it'll tank now that I'm gone?"

"Why are you getting so defensive over me leaving?" The frown contorted into something akin to discomfort, prompting Misaki to look surprised at the observation. "It's not related to the possibility of the group losing its audience nor a new person leading it. I've been wanting to do this before we argued, and right now seemed...appropriate to do it. To look for something new."   
  
Something clicked inside Misaki. "Are you saying you're joining a new group?" 

"Band."  
  
It took everything in Misaki to not punt Tae with all her strength.

"...band. Did you tell them about that part or just brought up taking a break?"

Misaki's voice never went any further than a silent whisper regardless of the anger welling up inside her due to holding herself back from acting on it. Everything about Tae, down to her decisions, had always confused Misaki and she made it a hobby to form headaches over deciphering her motives, but this was downright irresponsible. Tae's shortsighted decision making right now could mean the collapse of RAS and even though their issues and her worries were no longer hers to solve, nothing about what she heard made any sense. It didn't seem like Tae had any intentions of bringing the group down with her but something else entirely. She couldn't find it in her to care enough to the point of forming a colossal headache.

"I only told them about the break, not the band. Though I think I've dug my own grave now..." Tae propped her head on her hand held up by her elbow on her other hand and let her gaze fall on one of the many metallic walls the train car had.

"That's... about the only way I could really say it too. I think you should've been honest with them from the start." Misaki stated in a moment of brief understanding. "Why don't you tell them now? And, what'll you do if you ever want to come back? Especially when you got LOCK to replace you?" 

Misaki couldn't bear to imagine the ecstatic look on the girl's face at graduating from assistant to guitarist in the group she has admired for the longest time and the ensuing one of unimaginable sadness she would certainly make when it came time to step down, masked under endless layers of erratic nods, low sobs and quiet understanding.

"I... don't think I'll be coming back." Tae's tone was devoid of any emotion despite the pause out of suspense, or acceptance.

"So why not tell them that instead of risking another disaster?" In contrast, Misaki's was overflooding with emotion.  
  
Misaki found it in her to continue her speech when Tae kept quiet.

"I don't get it. You gave her a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity without thinking about what'd happen to you? Why am I the first one to know about this and not them? I get you like being all mysterious like, but this isn't something to be joked about. It might seem small but it could create a rift between everyone bigger than mine!"  
  
Misaki took a breather once she realized she was peeling off of the seat she was on to calm herself down.  
  
"Whatever you do... don't let them break up. Otherwise everything we did will amount to nothing." Misaki crossed her arms and shot Tae a sympathetic look. "I know just how much they love playing there, and you do too. I also know they're now in better hands, and I trust the new leader to make the right calls even righter than mine. I'm not fully sure what you hope to gain by leaving RAS and having LOCK be the new guitarist, but if our paths cross again, and that's just if, I just want to hear you say you finally found what you were looking for." 

The two mutually agreed on cutting their interaction short after Misaki's speech, opting to look anywhere that allowed them peace of mind. Misaki chose to lose herself in the worn, galaxy-like pattern on her case and hope she helped guarantee the group's bright future in the midst of a bleak situation.  
  
"...hey, did you forget to bring Oddie?"   
  
"Oh. Oh no."   
  
_I sometimes wonder why I think you're scary when you can be this much of a klutz, Tae..._

The remainder of the trip was completed in silence, and soon after reaching their destination the two went their separate ways. One in search of something new, the other in search of redemption.

***

A ring from above the door alerted other customers to Misaki's entrance into the music store, who made a bee-line into the far corners in search of equipment.   
  
Though upon entry she caught sight of a blue-haired girl about the same height as her nervously standing before the counter, hesitance clear in her body language, grabbing whatever was stood on top of it in a hurry and bolting toward the entrance, who had disregarded Misaki's presence guarding the door causing her to pummel its contents against Misaki's stomach with formidable force quickly squeaking out an apology and disappearing into the street. She almost considered calling out to her to scold her but the decision was overruled by the need to double over in an attempt to dull the pain and ease some stomach contents back down.

A few minutes later and the pain had mostly subsided; whatever she was hit by had packed a serious punch and although she didn't get a good look at the case's specifics, it was easy to assume an instrument case of sorts. Misaki hastily disregarded the incident and browsed the various shelves for anything DJ related that spoke to her in a steady balance of good and cheap. Using up all of her funds in no more than a few months would spell disaster for her wellbeing and sometimes bigger price tags didn't mean better products. She eventually settled for a DJ deck from the same brand and model she used back then. There was no safer option than tried and true decks she placed her trust in.

The sun had already set by the time Misaki was done buying all the equipment needed for her considerably smaller-than-before studio. With DJ decks, various additions to said decks and speakers haphazardly strewn around the makeshift studio and her day officially over, she threw herself onto the couch with an exhausted sigh. She'd emptied her case beforehand and some of the house's divisions were already messily sorted which allowed her to relax for the night while the case itself was shoved into the closet in the studio that'd be covered with acoustic panels.

There was still plenty of work to get done before her lessons began in exactly one week and if she juggled her duties properly — go shopping for basic necessities, arrange her living space better, set up the studio and other equipment, and prepare posters announcing her new musical project: another rap group — she'd still have one or two days to relax. Or none, if she chose to procrastinate.

Speaking of which... Misaki had a clear idea about the poster: nothing too standoff-ish or grand, just enough to bring out interest and curiosity, and a clever remark to fortify the welcoming atmosphere of sorts and reinforce the idea of something small growing into something big. But what would her new rap group be called? She had never been good at coming up with names and her former group was proof of that — most of the titles for their releases were decided on by the other group members because last time Misaki got a say in naming RAISE A SUILEN almost ended up being RAISE A SOILEN.

...

...would anyone recognize her here, two hours away from home? Thoughts shelved many times due to being a local name with great success and no real involvement beyond the district she grew up in even though her music garnered audience from places far from her own and countries she couldn't be bothered to place on the world's map thanks to various Geography lessons spent doing absolutely nothing came flooding back full force now that she had felt satisfied with today's agenda. Even if she was still considered an underdog now that the group underwent some serious changes word would quickly spread, especially in her hometown.

Would she be allowed to return home when every local back home knew of her actions? Forgiveness from friends and family meant nothing if half the neighborhood hated her, and she already found herself satisfied with the hatred she harbored for herself after being exiled for her actions. All it took was a quick search on the Internet, a large crowd, and her shot at a fresh start would go up in flames. 

And if she were unlucky enough for that to happen, a life dedicated to flipping burgers didn't sound too bad. Or becoming a nomad.

Misaki felt motivation seep out of her body out like sweat as thought after thought piled up to a giant stack. She forced herself off of the couch and onto her bed to sleep them away, not bothering with a change of clothes. She hadn't thought of a life without music until now and doing so made fear well up inside her as the loss of the final embers that remained of her identity were at risk of disappearing before they got a chance to rekindle.

...ugh.  
  
Alright, time to slam the brakes on that pessimistic train of thought. Focusing on the bad angles of everything this soon into the planning phase would only contribute toward her downfall. Thinking about what to name her new project sounded like a better use of her energy than to think about depressing possibilities and alternate universes.

To go well with the poster and her intentions... would be a name representing the birth and creation of a small and insignificant thing and its gradual evolution to something greater and greater.

One thing that immediately came to mind in that moment was one piece of random information Misaki had read up once during the short time in middle school she wasted trying to understand confusing lines of words and numbers before finding out music was her true calling, around when game development sounded interesting and not torture in the form of hitting keyboard keys until your fingers cramped and your creativity went down the drain.  
  
Hello, World! 

Hello, World!, a string of code usually written by programmers to check if something was working like it should or the first line of code one wrote, usually considered the starting point for a rookie programmer, in a sense could also be used to compare just how far someone had come with handling code. And the final two definitions fit just what Misaki was looking for: the beginning point for her progress and gradual growth from trial and error. And it also sounded simplistic and welcoming enough to at least attract a few curious looks.

Misaki rose from the bed and booted up her PC, some editing software and got to work in a sudden surge of motivation upon figuring out the first step toward the right direction. The sooner she finished the posters and started displaying them all over the streets the quicker she could get started on showing the world history would not repeat itself if she could help it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY GOT IT DONE OH MY GOD. i hope theyre both not too out of character (especially tae) 
> 
> SO. important announcements.  
> FIRSTLY my tests are done and i finally have enough time to try and dish chapters out more often, but this came with a catch. in the middle of it all i figured out i was unhappy with the direction the story i have written down is heading toward and writing sayos introductory arc was eye opening. i also found out that some characters fit well serving different roles and even replacing others. as much as i try to make it as convenient for me as possible, i'm forced to rewrite most of the story from scratch to fit the new vision i want while keeping core points in. so that's exactly what i'm gonna be doing in the upcoming xmas break:  
> what i have planned is that i complete misaki's introduction and then get to work on rewriting most of the aspects of the story until i'm satisfied with what comes out of it and go from there. most characters are essential to the story and i don't wanna give you guys half-assed effort so this has to be done. this also includes me adding other important tags i haven't yet and once again rewriting the summary thing on the front of the fanfic since i'm again not happy with it
> 
> SECONDLY i'm still trying to figure out how AO3 works and all that since i'm fairly new here but i have no idea how beta reading works (things like asking someone to do it, doing it yourself) so if anybody could give me some pointers thatd be really appreciated!! if you want to DM me or just have a chat through comments i don't mind either. i'm only asking now because there'll be some chapters in the future (deeper into the story) that i kind of want a second opinion on rather than my own intuition, yknow? (alternatively: you could interpret this as me getting way too ahead of myself) 
> 
> anyways with that done, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	6. Is It Fate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: on the date this chapter released (21/1/2021), chapters 1 through 5 have been "softly rewritten." it's not needed for you to go back and read them again if you already have EXCEPT for chapter 4! some major parts have been rewritten there

Just 10 minutes after the editing software in question loaded exhaustion won over with the help of low humming coming from a cooling fan, in a deep sleep lasting well into next day's early afternoon. 

Misaki came to with neck pains and groggy eyes that refused to stay open. It felt stupidly anti-climactic how little motivation she had to spare after experiencing the comforting embrace of slumber right after building herself up from a promise she aimed to keep. Realizing she wouldn't get any work done today though, she turned on her computer screen, saved the sole rectangle on her screen as a work in progress, and went to bed to sleep away some of her frustration at her lack of motivation.

The days afterward were mostly uneventful and of little interest, filled with countless hours of plowing through waves of motivation arriving from God knows where only to be glued to bed the day after, which made the matter of whether the hours went by slower or faster trivial by the time the week ended. Some shopping here alongside a few meaningless purchases to breathe life into the rooms later, so the atmosphere wasn't as depressing, had Misaki sinking into the couch and admire the fruits of her labor.

The apartment now exhibited signs of someone living in it at long last. The entrance was left untouched for the most part, and the living room contained a medium sized TV that faced a few couches, and a rose in a vase atop a small wooden table which stuck out like a sore thumb in the midst of ambitious dreams cramped between monochrome walls. The case which had been collecting dust on one of the corners had been moved and stored elsewhere that wouldn't bother anyone, namely Misaki. The kitchen was, well, standard, save for various carefully picked out photos littering the front of the fridge of Misaki posing with prominent figures in her life, giving it a look similar to what one would find in their mother's kitchen rather than a college student's. Her small studio had just enough space for five people and their instruments of choice to move around in, with soundproof foam covering every inch of the walls to keep any unnecessary noise from escaping and a few speakers littering each corner. In the walls of black foam a singular doorknob stuck out, inviting any one who was curious to rip off the foam and take a look inside. But her room...

Misaki forced out a sigh that got rid of some of her exhaustion. For once, pulling through with boring chores and resisting the urge to laze around felt... rewarding. Exactly two days of rest and minimal bragging rights even though it took all her motivation away and a sizeable portion of the funds Misaki carried, which — upon further investigation of multiple receipts and purchases — reminded her to manage her money tighter even if a financial shortage was the last of her worries, for now. She felt like she'd done something productive for the first time in months ever since she got here, which was definitely saying something about herself as a person.

But now that her mind wasn't occupied with sorting out banal tasks, it now worried over other small things such as the sudden feeling of dread that built up inside her gut each time her eyes met the dark computer screen in her room, before coming apart as quick as it came. It made her feel like she was forgetting something important, and serving as a warning to not let her guard down yet, thus making the feeling of young independence short-lived. 

But hey, if she didn't think about it too hard it wouldn't bother her much, right? 

  
Misaki rose from heavy bed covers and dragged herself toward the kitchen to fire up some coffee and get dressed while she waited, to avoid falling asleep on the counter. She ignored the scalding temperature of the murky black drink when it was done brewing at the cost of burning every single nerve end on her tongue down to her throat so thoroughly she'd probably still feel soreness in the coming weeks. Then, she grabbed her things and left for campus. The walk there was short but frigid, with visible smoke appearing after each exhale that blended in with the light morning fog covering roads and sidewalks in a small but dense layer of gray. An absurd amount of clothing and a jacket couldn't prevent the littlest amount of cold from seeping into her skin, but at least it further helped shake off some sleep from her eyes.

Though after realizing she had arrived a little too early to her first class, she killed some time wandering around campus in hopes to familiarize herself better with her surroundings for a start, but it soon turned into her standing still in the middle of clouds of gray, surrounded by a sense of security stemming from the thought that nothing but her and countless miles of urbanization hidden by cold existed in the current moment. Like all her responsibilities could be ignored in favor of losing herself in seas of frigid beauty.

A few minutes after, Misaki scurried to class and sat down on the first seat she found nice enough to do so, ignoring everything happening around her until the teacher walked in and began the lecture, at which point her vision cleared up so any writing on the board wasn't unintelligible. Her interest in the class itself was gone soon after at which point she figured she might try and look for anything noteworthy to her left and right but since the lower rows usually had those wishing for top scores, nothing really caught her eye.

Well, besides the brown-haired girl beside her focusing on anything but the class itself. She seemed to be setting up what seemed to be a... wish-list?, filled with enough instruments to supply a band and a half, on Amazon. Especially when she looked extremely similar to the one Misaki saw manning the register at the music store a few days ago.

She was wearing a dark green polar jacket with a gray hoodie underneath, red glasses and a focused glare at her laptop screen, and faded black pants that could've been worse for wear fitted with pockets on the side from the thighs down to the ankles, and baseball sneakers. Her right wrist had a rubber bracelet wrapped snugly around it outfitted with 4 letters, — initials, maybe? — two of them in light green, the two others in light purple. 

Her gaze met Misaki's, and neither of them were able to look away. And it didn't seem like they even would. 

"You're... the girl running the local music shop." Misaki decided she might as well state the obvious to prevent them both from getting too uncomfortable. 

"I wouldn't say run, but I've been behind the counter for a while now!" The other replied. "And you are...?" 

"The person that got hit with a case on her way in to buy some music equipment..." Misaki's voice lowered a few, even if she was certain nobody else would've heard her say that.

"Oh! Yeah, I remember now. Sorry about that, she still can't decide on whether she wants to sell it or not..." The girl's eyes averted from Misaki's own and focused on nowhere in particular.

"She?" 

"That girl who hit you with the case, her name's Kanon. She's visited that store countless times for about a week now because she wants to sell it to me but can't make up her mind." 

"Kanon..." The name wasn't one she heard before... meaning 'Kanon' probably played in her spare time and wasn't some retired musician. "Did she ever show you what was in it?" 

"Why do you ask?" Dark green eyes curiously met gray ones once more.

"Just wondering, really." 

The girl in glasses didn't seem to mind telling her. "It's a drum kit. She told me she bought it because she wanted a hobby of sorts but didn't know where to start so why not start with music? But, she told me she only really ever played it once or twice after she bought it, and I tried offering her some advice on drumming 101, what songs and rhythms are easier, and maybe even how to spin the drum sticks if she got good enough, huhehe..." A low laugh escaped her lips. "...but she turned all that down too. I still kept offering every day, but—"

Misaki's brain had tuned out around when the drum kit alone was mentioned. Asking her what instrument _she_ played was at the forefront of her mind and at the tip of her tongue: one rule of thumb Misaki had was that most if not all music store employee had prior experience with an instrument of choice, and if her predictions were correct she could score one member right now, or two if she managed to track down Kanon and their instruments were different. But where would she find this Kanon, anyway? Misaki had just moved in and knowing her luck with recruiting, the girl in glasses wouldn't know either if her interactions with Kanon had never gone beyond small talk on her shifts. 

And spending several hours tracking down a complete stranger who you had no prior history with only to offer them to play for you, expecting them to accept it with no questions asked required a very optimistic mindset.

Something Misaki didn't have.

"—ling. I get a bit carried away when I talk about music and all that..." 

"It's fine," Misaki replied with the first thing that came to mind and was relieved to see the other didn't suspect a thing. "What's your name, by the way?" 

"Maya Yamato! If you rearrange the letters in my name, you'll still be able to spell it just fine!" Maya said with an equally confident smile and voice...

"Misaki Okusawa, but you can just call me Misaki if you'd like. No honorifics or anything." ...which heavily contrasted with Misaki's small and tired one alongside her hesitant tone. "Do you play an instrument, Yamato-san?" 

"I think I brought which one up, didn't I?" Maya's expression changed to mild confusion. 

"I, uh, didn't quite catch that part. Sorry," Misaki technically wasn't lying.

"It's fine! I used to play the drums, but I haven't picked up my drum sticks properly in years," Maya's smile seemed to curve downwards a little. "But I'm not thinking of selling my drums anytime soon. Just in case I wanna vent some steam or ever need them again." 

"Wanna pick them up again?"

Misaki's lips moved faster than her thoughts and by the time the mass inside her skull caught up with her vocal cords, Maya's shocked expression served as proof she stopped herself too late. The teacher's voice filled in the heavy silence as Maya struggled to reply, or make sense of what was said, like Misaki uttered forbidden words that rang in Maya's ears , mulling over the question. Misaki didn't know whether to give her time to reply or cut in to try and attempt damage control, but the safest option right now...

"S-sorry," Misaki just as quickly forced out, wishing to prevent another long staring competition. "What I meant was have you played in a band or something before. Yeah." 

_What was I thinking? Was I even thinking? You should've waited a little more before dropping the bomb, not say the first thing that comes to mind the moment you see a musician in front of you, especially one you just met!_

"...yeah. Yeah," Maya's eyes refocused. "I have. An idol band of sorts for a short time, and before that I was a studio musician. The idol thing wasn't really successful, but I like to think it could of been if things played out differently. We went under almost right after we started." 

"How come?" 

The question felt like Maya got doused with cold water with how quick she froze up. 

_Sounds like something personal happened... I don't think I should prod any further._

Misaki saw that as a cue to end the conversation there and cast her gaze toward her own laptop's screen. She pat herself on the back, though, for being able to successfully hold a short conversation with someone, thus making Maya the first person she'd gotten a chance to actually interact with. Maybe her social life still had some hope if Tae hadn't gone off spreading rumors about Misaki's misdeeds, but knowing her she'd probably sit back and watch Misaki bust her butt off and only step in when absolutely necessary, per usual. 

But, back to her previous line of thought. Kanon, or Maya? A complete novice wanting to throw in the towel, or someone with prior experience ready for a second wind at any time? Her quest for redemption came with the secondary objective to show the world that just because you lost it all doesn't mean you can't rise to the top while showing them how powerful and inspirational music really was, and the recruitment of someone who knows their way around an instrument could speed that up. But the same philosophy could be applied to musicians themselves: producing music sometimes helped _them_ rediscover what made it so great in the first place...

Agh, stupid tough decisions! Misaki held her head in frustration. She hasn't even put up posters yet, so why was she already wanting to directly recruit o—

Put up posters? 

...

Had she even finished them? 

She remembered saving a layout for the poster on her computer, not her laptop, so checking the file was out of question. And when Misaki closed her eyes to concentrate and rule out the days she kept working on it only one memory seemed to remind her of the poster: the lingering feeling of dread every time her eyes met the computer screen back home she chose to sleep on, already mentally exhausted from. 

This meant she hadn't finished the poster, and the self-imposed deadline was today so she had enough time to go around town and spread them out in time. If only she'd chipped away at it for a few minutes each day...

Misaki dug her fingers into her scalp out of frustration. 

Usually she threw multiple ideas together and then singled out the best with outsider help, and the creative process overall took two or so days so she could sit and ponder about each one and decide which stood out in particular, or four days if she was feeling a little too under the weather. And although she was on her own now, one opinion was better than none. And the overall message she wanted to get across had already been decided on, so the problem wasn't about creativity. 

Rather, the glaring lack of time caused by her own forgetfulness.

Without proper time to compare aesthetics, mull over appearances, and overthink minuscule details visible only to the trained eye but made a huge difference on the presentation, the end result would be nothing more than a hollow shell with no spirit hastily put together like a last minute school presentation, unable to invoke emotions. This meant Misaki had no choice but to do exactly that. Put something together with little spirit. It wasn't the first time nor would it be the last but it didn't mean she enjoyed doing it when her work ethic was being violated. 

Misaki punched the power button, opened up some editing software, drew another rectangle and ignored how it took her merely a minute or so to do something that took 10 minutes at night to focus more on how to proceed. She also ignored Maya gazing at her screen for a while, too busy hammering out a few lines of text that could just barely pass as both cheesy and good enough. 

"You're starting a rap group?" Maya asked. 

"Y-yeah. But I forgot to make the poster, and I was hoping to print it out and spread it across town before classes started since a few people've got to be looking for something else that isn't studying." Misaki replied, scratching her head briefly. "But at this rate... I'll only get them out by the end of the day, when everyone's already gone home."

A beat.

"Unless..."

"Unless...?"

"I know we just met, but do you wanna help me get these out before the day's over?" Misaki turned her way with dulled hope in her eyes. "You won't be able to make it to most of if any of your classes though. All I need're some second opinions with the overall design and someone to help with setting them up across town. I'll handle the printing." 

Maya went into thought, leaving Misaki on the edge of her seat. She was certain 'Please, I'll pay you back someday' was written all over her, and that rejection could be just around the corner, but it never hurt to reach out and try. With Maya's help all the posters could be set up in time for classes to end, ensuring as many people as possible saw it. But would Maya really want to skip classes for someone she just met?

"...I can do it. I don't think I'll really earn or lose anything by ditching first day's classes. Although I'm not sure if I'll be much help with overall loo—" 

"Really?!" Misaki spoke louder than she expected to, promptly lowering her volume after attracting a few gazes. "Uh, I mean... thanks. I'll take any help I can get, though I'll make sure you don't have too much on your hands. We'll be just a second with this, you'll see." 

"So, what've you got planned?" Maya inched closer to Misaki and listened attentively.

"Right, so what I've got planned is we get this done before class ends, and then we find someplace where we can print these out. Secondly, we'll need some duct tape, and then..."

Maybe she'd make it just in time. 

***

A plan was made: finish the design by the end of class, print out enough posters to fill the streets like Christmas lights, spread them evenly across town and send a text when you were done. The time needed to print and set them up would roughly take a few hours thanks to how far Misaki wanted to spread them, so they decided on evenly splitting the areas they went to to make the endeavor as quick as possible while also ensuring as many people possible saw it. 

A few Google searches for reference paired with healthy amounts of brainstorming and quiet criticism led the two toward a design they both agreed on. The 'Hello, World' message became the spotlight by making most of the background intentionally plain and boring, littered with some binary and musical notes here and there that, if played, were nothing more than white noise. A monospace font was used and bolded so the main focus of the poster became not the presentation, but the message and text itself. Superficially, it looked like something a complete novice made with no idea on what they were doing. But to Misaki and Maya, it was the best design possible for highlighting the start of something new and thus having reverse psychology come into play.

When the bell rang they left the teaching hall and college campus, exchanged numbers and then got to work. 

Misaki decided to use it as another opportunity to explore the far reaches of town and catch some fresh air while she was at it. Car engines rumbled, birds chirped in the distance, the winds blew calm and cold breezes that weren't cold enough to penetrate her hefty clothing, and the morning fog had long vanished and made way for blue, clear skies. The bear pin on her cap glimmered as the morning sun's rays reflected off it, as Misaki passed by various buildings with duct tape and a stack of A4 paper gradually decreasing in size the more she discovered unknown parts of town and got lost in them, eventually using the posters as a GPS of sorts. Compared to back home, very few buildings were worn out or abandoned. All of them were being utilized one way or another and were clean and in pristine: barely any chipped paint or moldy corners, light reflecting from in-tact windows. The streets were mostly narrow thanks to urbanization. 

Something Misaki agreed on from the one month she lived here was that while it had all the requirements for housing a very large amount of people, it instead took on the identity of a thriving, comfortable neighborhood bustling with life in a way that wasn't too overwhelming like how Tokyo or New York City were. The opposite from where she moved in from.

When Misaki got a message, though, from Maya, saying she was done, she forced herself to stop admiring the world around her the second time that day and put some pep in her step. She began turning corners more frequently, going left and right in unknown directions, — sometimes even ending up on the same street more than once — slapping posters onto whichever walls she was closest to with duct tape and sheets of paper before time was up. And because getting caught setting up posters by people who you could possibly befriend and spend years hanging out with was socially embarrassing. 

Misaki made it back to central park just in time for students to come pouring out and for her stack of posters to run out, wiping sweat from her brow that kept forming from how much she ran.

 _Is this.. what I get for not "working out" for_ one _month?_

She took out her phone and pressed Maya's contact to warn her. 

**[screw you eve, im bushido, 6:00 PM]**

**[6:00 PM] [Plush Bear]:** I'm done with my stack now too. Thank you so much I owe you one

 **[6:00 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** no problem! just send me a text when u have all the members u need ;)

 **[6:00 PM] [Plush Bear]:** How so

 **[6:00 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** mainly curious to see what music u come up with is all 

**[6:01 PM] [Plush Bear]:** Ah, alright. Thanks again 

**[6:01 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** :) 

**[6:01 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** also im not sure if u really wanted me to reply to what u said back then but 

**[6:02 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** id join ur group but ive got a few things to sort out before i join another band or group, yknow

 **[6:02 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** so technically the whole "ready anytime" thing was a bit of a lie. but no hard feelings! <3 

**[6:03 PM] [Plush Bear]:** I understand, don't worry 

**[6:03 PM] [Plush Bear]:** I wasn't gonna force you into joining either way 

**[6:04 PM] [screw you eve, im bushido]:** 👍 see u around! 

**[6:04 PM] [Plush Bear]:** See you   
  
**[6:05 PM] [Plush Bear]** has gone Offline. 

Misaki shut off her phone and shoved it in her pocket, breathing in the air that seemed to get lighter now that her work was mostly finished. All she wanted to do now was get home as quick as possible and change into something more comfortable, especially when the temperature got lower and lower for each second that passed. She exhaled onto her hands in hopes of warming them up before they fell off, and slowly started the walk home.

Or she would have, hadn't she seen Tae Hanazono in the corner of her eye inspecting one of the nearby posters.

Every muscle in her body refused to budge, and the concrete beneath her feet was starting to feel uncomfortable to the point it made her think she could probably bury them underground if she tried hard enough. Misaki was too busy holding her breath to notice any changes in Tae's expressions equal to disapproval or better yet, mockery. Stopping to think about the reason why she was getting so worked up over one person's opinion was out of the question when her biggest urge was to act now and ask questions later. 

But a change in Tae's facial expression never came. Her smile was set in stone even as she turned her head to address the girl standing just beside her (how Misaki didn't see her sooner was lost on her) about the sheet of paper hung up on a street light illuminating both of them from above, almost like a theater play. The girl Tae was talking to had teal hair, a casual get-up and a see-through poker face that Misaki vaguely recognized hearing about from someone. 

A good look at her face caused the world to slow down and her insides to tie into knots. 

Misaki felt the cold air leaving and entering her lungs at a steady pace. Her whole body froze over not from the cold but from some unknown force overpowering her senses. Nails dug into the palms of her hands until her knuckles turned white, and blood threatened to spill from how much force she was using to prevent herself from getting swallowed whole by the sunset's glow and her own fear as her attention was entirely on the street lamp's light that got brighter. And brighter. And brighter. And brighter. 

Her legs thawed out even though the rest of her body refused to cooperate, and the reaction was instantaneous. Her legs broke into a sprint that forced Misaki's body along with them, like they acted independently of her brain, and carried her toward the light out of a complex emotion she couldn't really give a name to no matter how had she tried. Her eyes only looked forward because to look back meant reconsideration. Reconsideration meant hesitance, hesitance meant fear, fear meant resignation. Resignation was permanent, and permanent resignation meant defeat.

For one brief second, Misaki and Tae locked gazes. The eyes are the windows to your soul, is how the saying goes. Misaki desperately searched for any explanation behind what she was seeing. Maybe she was just blowing this out of proportion and these two meeting was nothing more than some coincidence that only happened once in a lifetime, and their interaction wouldn't go beyond critiquing her recruitment form. 

But it didn't seem like that would be the case, when she recalled her remark about Tae earlier in the day. Where she sat back and only stepped in when absolutely necessary, per usual.

Because all Misaki saw past those windows were feelings of contempt mixed with restrained interest that, despite not being directed at her, sent a shiver up her spine and drove her to a temporary halt before Tae turned around and began walking away. 

"W-wait!"

It was loud enough for both of them to hear Misaki shout, but not enough to convince Tae to stop walking.

Misaki brought her hands to her knees and doubled over with her heart hammering against her ribcage, unable to expend enough air to shout again, watching as Tae blended in with a crowd and disappeared from her sight, frustrated. Damn it! Hadn't she yelled loud enough? What was she planning behind the scenes? Regardless, it didn't matter anymore. Defeat was all she got instead of answers. 

Something about this entire situation stirred faint foreboding inside her. Like there was no going back now. 

"May I help you?" 

Misaki looked up to exasperation and confusion hidden behind a stoic expression partially covered by teal hair that couldn't decide between walking away or staying behind out of moral obligation. But it was fine with Misaki, because she didn't know if her striking up a conversation now was done out of pity or her twisted sense of justice.

"I... I'm good, don't worry... but..." 

But one thing was certain. The three of them briefly meeting here — in this very park — didn't seem like a coincidence anymore. If anything...

"...I think I'm the one who can help you." 

...it was like their paths were always fated to cross in this small town. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got most of the new story prepared, so just hang in tight until the introduction is done! just two more chapters and we'll be getting into the first story arc! 
> 
> i made a twitter!  
> twitter: [@EcumziBMO](https://twitter.com/EcumziBMO)


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